Animals: Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children...

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By Sammy - 25/02/2013 07:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 214

You deserved it 4 656

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 308

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 4 204

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 100

Relax

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 149

By 2k16 - 17/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 832

You deserved it 1 685

By Anonymous - 15/10/2018 15:33

Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this opportunity to help himself to half a gallon of vegetable oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 679

You deserved it 506

Goddamn mayo

By Jay703 - 03/08/2016 02:21 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, while taking out a jar of mayonnaise, it slipped from my hand, landing on its lid, exploding, and covering both of my dogs from head to tail in it. Terrified, they fled, leaving a trail of globs of mayo. After cleaning both dogs and the house, they both threw up from eating too much mayonnaise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 610

You deserved it 1 314

Naughty boy

By Stoopiddogbot - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 085

You deserved it 4 507

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 11/10/2012 05:08 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 637

You deserved it 2 918

iemislayer 10

Monday 25 February 2013 16:13

Why do you have oil in the frier sitting in the cupboard??? It should always be drained before storing away

starcable 9

Monday 25 February 2013 16:11

wow if I was the husband and my wife came home to that she probably kill me for not noticing something like that.

Comments

CreepInTheCorner 11

Sunday 3 March 2013 6:13

The mess should be the least of your worries. Your poor dog's health is what's most important.

hoffmanam 13

Monday 4 March 2013 3:12

don't you just hate when that happens

SAgirl 13

Monday 4 March 2013 19:52

Dogs are so disgusting...

itszlo 8

Monday 18 March 2013 0:48

Man and their tvs... It's like they're zombies!

jixiekat 14

Sunday 15 September 2013 3:03

this is why I am not fond of dogs

filmguru512 3

Tuesday 19 November 2013 2:29

First of all why didn't you wash the pan. Second of all why weren't you watching him?

rocker_chick23 27

Tuesday 23 December 2014 4:02

OP just got home from work. How could OP be watching him if she wasn't there?

MozillaHostile 21

Friday 23 October 2015 0:15

Dogs are disgusting

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