Love: Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my...

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 846

You deserved it 3 112

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Same thing different taste

By gimmeasalad - 21/04/2012 06:01 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 36 921

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 4 402

By Brinty - 24/10/2009 04:26 - Australia

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 467

You deserved it 3 565

By meeeeeee - 26/11/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 3 903

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 5 224

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 010

You deserved it 3 823

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 22:11 - Sweden - Lidk?ping

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 388

You deserved it 13 703

By megomania - 02/05/2011 13:51 - United States

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 037

You deserved it 4 439

By lucy - 03/03/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 619

You deserved it 6 126

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 470

You deserved it 8 533

airforce987 20

Tuesday 12 June 2012 18:51

I suppose this isn't the time to say, "well that's a fishy situation"...

Christina6 11

Tuesday 12 June 2012 18:52

I feel bad for your fish.

Comments

fordman22 0

Tuesday 12 June 2012 21:46

Sounds shitty

willitz787 3

Tuesday 12 June 2012 21:50

Oh that's just nasty *cleveland voice*

Fishfanatic 7

Tuesday 12 June 2012 22:00

*SPEECHLESS*

SchlomoTheGrinch 18

Tuesday 12 June 2012 22:03

So... could you see if he had the Sushi Surplus or the Gorgonzola Bonanza?

EnterSandman_fml 20

Tuesday 12 June 2012 22:10

Taking a dump in the fish tank is grounds for dumping. Kick that deuce out.

brandon3747 16

Tuesday 12 June 2012 22:15

Well your from Hungary so......

icemand90 17

Tuesday 12 June 2012 22:36

he's a keeper

MissLilijana 7

Tuesday 12 June 2012 23:19

Time to get a new boyfriend.

alycion 38

Wednesday 13 June 2012 0:20

And new fish.

luccmon 6

Tuesday 12 June 2012 23:57

WOW!!

pantherprincess 6

Wednesday 13 June 2012 0:33

That's just nasty! I hope u kicked him out after you made him clean the tank with a spoon and his toothbrush.

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The Top

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 691

You deserved it 2 106

Today, I once again had to listen to my husband and the girl he’s cheating on me with have sex in our bed, all while I sleep on the couch in the living room. I’m an immigrant and got my Green Card through him. If I divorce him, Immigration will think the marriage was fraudulent and I’ll be deported back to my country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 284

The Top

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 672

You deserved it 2 511

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 222

You deserved it 43 817

Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 810

You deserved it 5 691

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 728

You deserved it 3 426

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 036

You deserved it 8 671

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 490

You deserved it 3 248

Same thing different taste

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