Miscellaneous: Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my... - FML

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

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Same thing different taste

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 245

You deserved it 3 701

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 764

You deserved it 3 342

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 067

You deserved it 2 805

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 243

You deserved it 3 808

By smf_ds - 31/07/2015 20:48 - Portugal - Rebordosa

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 072

You deserved it 2 223

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 4 039

By ouharguohargssdf - 28/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 2 900

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 01:00

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 269

Life is a roller coaster

By Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 177

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 888

You deserved it 4 984

Next

Top comments

Mole116 4

Monday 9 January 2012 15:46

LOL WTF. That's... creepy... O_o

GoW_Chick 14

Monday 9 January 2012 15:50

It's all about teamwork in a healthy marriage, I bet they're a really happy couple.

Comments

xxmusicroxxx 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 1:07

Hey *****. Put some clothes on.

imr 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 2:50

lol why didnt he just use his hand..

SRabbit 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 2:59

I doubt he's got long enough nails to get the proper itch going and clearly she didn't want her fingers tainted so they decided upon a fork.

twilightluvr101 4

Thursday 12 January 2012 4:22

Lol u shouldve been like ”this,is y we cant have nice things!”

cheerbabe3254 4

Friday 13 January 2012 4:02

I wouldn't be eating off of that fork for a while;)

cheerbabe3254 4

Friday 13 January 2012 4:05

Poor u:(( poor fork????tip:don't bring friends to your house, just stuck with their house!!!!!!!

bitchplease123ka 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 1:03

Dude that's soooo nasty but iv walked in on my parents doing worse I hope next time u stay at ur friends house or I would just laugh about it and let it be a inside joke :)

LN666 2

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:31

just think next time u eat with a fork where its been :)

my_unicorn_gnurf 3

Wednesday 18 January 2012 15:59

Atleast you know where the fork was............

nabila21 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:08

IT ITCHES X0

Razman201 14

Tuesday 10 April 2012 14:18

And the mystery of your mum's secret Food topping is revealed XD

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The Top

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 295

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

The Top

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 3 685

Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 058

You deserved it 3 081

Today, I was given a $100 cookbook as a gift by a co-worker. The man who shares a desk with me didn't realise it was mine, as he was at lunch when I got it, so he decided to give it to my boss when he walked in. My boss is refusing to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 215

You deserved it 1 463

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 901

You deserved it 6 447

Today, my boss's oldest son challenged me to a chess game. I've been practicing a lot, so I decided to humor him. He was a challenging opponent; not because he was skilled, however, but because he was trying to cheat almost constantly. I felt exasperated, rather than accomplished, when I beat him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 64

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 007

You deserved it 266