Miscellaneous: Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic...

By fmT719 - 18/12/2011 23:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 635

You deserved it 17 379

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Same thing different taste

Stoners of the world unite!

By Andy - 04/04/2020 23:00

Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 202

Warren Zevon wrote bangers

By The song is "Excitable Boy" - 02/01/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 138

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 999

You deserved it 4 223

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 3 033

By lauramarie - 23/07/2011 14:18 - Canada

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 568

You deserved it 15 611

Drowning

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 18:01 - United States

Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 589

By SteroidPenguin - 18/05/2013 22:33 - United States - Clifton

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 7 539

By embaressed - 20/09/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 2 920

Survivor

By whyyy - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 909

You deserved it 2 680

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 451

You deserved it 4 166

imafmlluver 6

Monday 19 December 2011 1:42

MY GOD U SUCK skrillex ftw

kickazz16 15

Monday 19 December 2011 1:40

It's probably a mid-life crisis. But do know your dad heard you wail and scream for hours when you were a baby. Just adjust to it!

Comments

purplemelons 0

Friday 16 March 2012 3:34

Eww. Skrillex is lame.

alexiseve12 0

Sunday 25 March 2012 7:07

Skrillex rules!! Freak!

Nav87 8

Tuesday 3 April 2012 10:13

Skillrex is epic

Skatergirl109 5

Friday 20 April 2012 2:25

Hey! There is nothing wrong with skrillex! Skrillex is amazing!

me234 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 21:26

Hey, I live Skrillex don't judge.

burnsie22 5

Wednesday 13 June 2012 3:12

Skrillex is a highly drunk very high man

giggitygoo12 7

Monday 16 July 2012 0:25

Shutup op skrillex be boss

crapazoidburg 0

Sunday 29 July 2012 19:56

People who wear sunglasses inside have to, because it's always sunny in DoucheVille.

bubblez2016_fml 5

Monday 13 August 2012 9:29

skrillex is amazing! you are insane for thinking other wise!

Sirin_fml 46

Tuesday 14 August 2012 3:02

Closing comments due to excessive, repetitive fan-girling. What is WRONG with you people?

Keywords

Embarrassing Work Awkward Money Insects Intimacy Sex Animals Cats Health Kids Neighbours Love First Dates Dating Students Alcohol Miscellaneous Fight Parents Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Parenting Poopoo peepee Weird Cheating Drugs I need your advice Art

The Top

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 165

Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 299

You deserved it 9 654

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 215

You deserved it 4 285

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 668

You deserved it 5 929

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 508

You deserved it 22 417

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 219

You deserved it 7 664

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 644

You deserved it 6 606