Miscellaneous: Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my...

By DaveAlmighty - 02/07/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 218

You deserved it 12 328

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Same thing different taste

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 974

You deserved it 1 791

Cops can't catch criminals

By frustrated - 17/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 372

You deserved it 4 802

Confess!

By hitandrun - 10/08/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 225

You deserved it 76 123

By Meg - 13/06/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 373

You deserved it 2 816

By DrugDeal - 09/06/2011 01:24 - Canada

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 648

You deserved it 3 402

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 415

You deserved it 8 464

I'm a weirdo, I'm a creep

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, I was sitting behind some bushes in the dark enjoying the view, when some cops came and confiscated my night-vision goggles, then warned me for acting like a "creepy perv." FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 3 527

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:49 - Germany - Stuttgart

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 309

You deserved it 2 599

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 20:24

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 008

You deserved it 2 226

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 168

tgm0112 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 16:03

You had no way of knowing if they were doing their job right. FYL

kath91 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 16:05

You weren't to know, if they were sitting in front of your house they deserved it.

Comments

saunder 0

Friday 3 July 2009 10:19

haha why fml its awsome man!

epikz 0

Friday 3 July 2009 11:36

smart cops for not over reacting and arresting you lol not everyday you see smart cops

Nick86 0

Friday 3 July 2009 12:18

Well, you had no idea of knowing. At least they didn't arrest you too!

gagliface 3

Friday 3 July 2009 16:02

hahahaha. FML makes my day. and not just because of funny FML's. Reading people's comments makes it so much better because everyone gets SO worked up about shit. lolz. lighten up :)

aaaaa12345_fml 0

Friday 3 July 2009 16:07

they wear ******* towels on their heads and have bombs strapped around their chests. also, most of them have long beards and sand falls out of their shoes where they walk.

userperson 0

Friday 3 July 2009 21:25

Presuming no other fallout, that's neither your fault, nor FML, that's just cool. You did the right thing. They could've been trespassing perverts. Turns out they were people conspiring to kidnap & imprison the neighbors. You got to scare them away once, a good day. Sadly, if you'd done that when they came to kidnap them, They would have F'd-Your-Life