Health: Today, I confronted my neighbor because he'd been telling my...

By alternativefacts - 10/07/2017 14:28

Today, I confronted my neighbor because he'd been telling my kids that global warming was a myth. He responded with, "Whine all you want, but the swamp is draining and your bullshit liberal narrative is finally going down." He then dumped his trash on my lawn and retreated to his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 950

You deserved it 1 229

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By EwwGross - 31/08/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 539

You deserved it 1 956

Trash

By Anonymous - 02/04/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 817

You deserved it 445

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 015

You deserved it 3 396

By Stalkerella - 08/05/2018 05:51

Today, I asked my neighbor to kindly move his truck because it blocks my driveway and the side entrance to my yard. He responded by throwing a decapitated bird onto my front lawn and filing an injunction against me for stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 664

You deserved it 270

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 1 859

By diggingaplotforone - 11/08/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 189

You deserved it 9 583

Great parenting, Patricia

By HeMayHaveSomeIssues - 28/02/2014 20:01 - Denmark

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 414

You deserved it 3 672

Snitches get bitches

By d for vendetta - 21/04/2021 23:00

Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 256

Better call Saul

By possibly a sweater - 05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 567

You deserved it 24 514

Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 484

GhostFox 33

Thursday 6 July 2017 8:21

I believe that could count as vandalism. Look into laws in your state and find out. Also, tell him to stay away from your kids, and see if there's anyway you can get legal backing behind it. The fact he's apparently targeting your children to try to brainwash them is very disturbing.

catkat1988 17

Monday 10 July 2017 14:41

Get your revenge - tell his kids ALL about evolution! Or even better - let them know that the Earth is actually round!

Comments

piinksock 17

Tuesday 11 July 2017 1:49

Did he beat you up while wearing a MAGA hat?

d3rpb0t 10

Tuesday 11 July 2017 17:47

The neighbor's reaction along with a good amount of the comments here are what's ****** about everything, not because of the opinion, but the absurd intolerance to anything that does not align with one's own beliefs, something that exists on BOTH sides.

onceuponatime456 16

Tuesday 11 July 2017 18:48

Your neighbour is obviously too ******* stupid to be on this planet. Hopefully something happens to it!

AKchic 7

Tuesday 11 July 2017 20:49

Depending on how petty you want to be... take all of his trash and throw it back INTO his house and car. On fire. Or if there's personal information (bills, credit card statements, whatever) call the police and report his littering. If he has kids - let them know that God, Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy don't exist. And that the Earth isn't flat. And that the bible is a book of fairy tales. Or teach them about pagan gods. Give them some Rick Riordan and JK Rowling books. Put up rainbow flags and host gay away the pray dance parties in your yard. Anti-lord dampnut bbq socials. Donate to Planned Parenthood and make sure the statements go to his mailbox so he knows you're donating. Put him on a few liberal mailing lists. Put him on a few casual encounters craigslist ads. Have fun.