Animals: Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing...

By ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 746

You deserved it 1 817

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Same thing different taste

Just do it

By tulisa - 21/02/2015 04:25 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 371

You deserved it 4 464

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 271

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 338

You deserved it 2 564

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 513

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 258

You deserved it 6 137

By Locked Out - 14/05/2013 19:11 - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 770

You deserved it 3 544

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 865

You deserved it 2 666

By K-Rat - 09/10/2016 12:16 - United States

Today, my cat loves to chase birds. In fact, he loves it so much, he ran out of the litter box mid-poop to chase one, forcing me to wipe his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 466

You deserved it 1 057

By Twitchy - 14/09/2011 23:20 - Bahamas

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 766

You deserved it 3 161

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 344

_parth 20

Thursday 30 June 2016 15:47

Your cat forgot how to cat.

socksxox 19

Thursday 30 June 2016 16:10

Cats see us as stupid bigger versions of themselves. they bring us dead mice and stuff because they think we don't eat much cause we don't know how to hunt. So if it makes you feel any better, your cat was probably watching on with so much pride :)

Comments

jelrid 30

Friday 1 July 2016 6:43

Oi, am I the only one who initially read that as "... Chased it around the yard, shooting it away..."? Yeah? Okies.....

RylanHolland89 6

Friday 1 July 2016 16:37

Are you sure that wasn't Hillary campaigning outside your window?

lifes_rough23 8

Saturday 2 July 2016 0:03

this is so freaking hilarious!

childproofpizza 19

Saturday 2 July 2016 4:15

you should really buy a pellet gun

DrChrisOfWumbo 12

Saturday 2 July 2016 10:09

You're in Alabama. Not to stereotype type or anything but do you not have even a BB gun?! Come on OP. Learn how to get shit done

VagueEel 13

Saturday 2 July 2016 18:30

probably a little late for this but put a fake snake near where the bird normally is. it will (hopefully) scare it off. we had a similar issue with birds sitting on our car and a rubber snake in the dashboard worked wonders.

XboxSqueaker 15

Saturday 2 July 2016 23:24

just get yourself a cheap airsoft gun and shoot the birds when they get annoying. It won't kill, just scare them

WardenWolf 26

Monday 11 July 2016 22:24

For sale: one useless cat. We had a mockingbird that would sit on our chimney and squawk early in the morning every day. It was really obnoxious. Finally I had enough and went outside with my BB gun and knocked him off the chimney. He flew off, and never came back.