Health: Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of...

By howaboutthemcarrots - 14/04/2015 15:08 - Finland - Laajalahti

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 4 200

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/10/2015 04:42

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 543

You deserved it 5 753

Irony at a base level

By SterlingEnigma - 25/09/2009 08:43 - United States

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 344

You deserved it 7 383

By Anonymous - 18/05/2011 07:26 - United States

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 365

You deserved it 9 331

Food ****

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 22:01

Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 339

First time for everything

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Hoffman

Today, I've been sneezing and coughing and not feeling well, so I decided to go to the grocery store to get some bone broth and some orange juice. Shortly after grabbing the orange juice, I felt like I had to pass gas, except it wasn't gas, it was diarrhea. At 35 years-old I pooped my pants in the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 161

How d'you like them apples?

By an Apple a day my ass! - 11/10/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, in an effort to curb my drinking, I’ve tried eating an apple whenever I got the urge, which worked wonderfully for a couple of days, until the sudden influx of fiber in my diet caused me to violently shit myself miles from home. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 253

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 694

You deserved it 2 694

Nice imagery, dude

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 10:00

Today, I ate something that didn’t agree with me. Now I’m in the bathroom and my butthole is dry heaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 122

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 112

Geyser

By awhmaaan - 27/02/2012 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 5 819

saffy66 34

Wednesday 15 April 2015 0:27

Are you sure something went bad? If you've been eating unhealthy and low fibre food, it may just be your body's response to the sudden influx of raw juice and fibre. Sometimes you need to start slow when making dietary changes. But good on you for doing something positive for your health.

xxDragonHeart_fml 10

Wednesday 15 April 2015 0:20

You'll start a healthy lifestyle with clean intestines.

Comments

irishmaiden78 23

Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:13

You did a high fiber content juice. It's going to cause things to move. That's why you only use a little bit of apple when you juice of a regular basis unless it's processed apple juice.

msmedieval 11

Wednesday 15 April 2015 21:43

It's probably just your body reacting to the fiber it isn't used to. Take it slow. Juice has more sugar & fiber than eating a single piece of fruit.

ForeverJasmine 26

Wednesday 15 April 2015 23:41

Something didn't go bad.. You just ingested a whole bunch of fiber and cleaned out your intestines

kierstenpaper 1

Friday 24 April 2015 2:55

Never juice carrots and apples together, I'm not quite sure about the reasoning behind it, all I know is that you feel awful after drinking it. My mom did the same thing a few years ago and she was stuck in bed for a good day. Hope you feel better soon!