Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly...

By yeah okay then - 03/08/2012 23:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 981

You deserved it 2 122

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/09/2015 17:28 - United States - Macon

Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 354

You deserved it 2 454

No, not now!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Estonia - Tartu

Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 797

You deserved it 1 044

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 309

You deserved it 3 702

Drama alert

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 23:59 - Australia - Thornleigh

Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 80

Gamergating

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 02:04 - United States

Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 694

You deserved it 28 707

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

More details please

By Grandma has no filter - 08/12/2022 15:00 - United States

Today, I listened to my grandma monologue about how if my uncle was born first, my mother (and consequently, I) would not exist. I then got to listen to her rant about what a terror he was. Let's just say I learned and heard some things I'd rather have not known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 22:59 - Australia - Redland Bay

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 5 036

By for fuck's sake, gran - 25/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 490

You deserved it 1 778

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 03:39 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 505

You deserved it 1 924

AnthonyWheeler15 24

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:03

So ***** are just all part of a cult? It all makes sense now

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Saturday 4 August 2012 5:57

I would have played along!

Comments

bla102 4

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:07

I knew it! Finally someone sees else what the llluminati are doing! I knew sex was a weapon against the human race or was it just a weapon for my girlfriend against me?

ManInTheMachine 19

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:07

If you want a good relationship with your grandfather, then remember the following: The Illuminati also created AIDS to kill off the black population and the Black Plague to destroy Europe's population and economy. Oh, and vaccines are rigged to kill people. You guys will be hitting each other up on Facebook in no time! Actually, scratch that. The CIA owns Facebook. Write letters instead.

kewlkate 9

Saturday 4 August 2012 7:11

Screw it all, then! Word of mouth is definitely the way to go!

dasgaytaco 1

Saturday 4 August 2012 7:43

What if the government hears?

boating_guy 33

Saturday 4 August 2012 7:43

31- that's what you think. but they're tracking you, they can hear you, watch you, and even know how many times you shake it after going to the bathroom. better watch out

stary1722 6

Saturday 4 August 2012 7:57

Big brother is watching....

DiscoKiller 4

Monday 6 August 2012 17:32

I notice that people laugh a lot of this conspiracy stuff off, but that is because they havent read into it. Read. Learn. Digest it for yourselves, then form your own opinions. I`m not about to wander about with a foil hat on waiting for our lizard overlords, but I`m certainly not expecting the world to stay as it is for now. The signs are there that the world is being changed to allow for a new world order, there is evidence that diseases such as AIDS were created in a lab and have been spread to kill off homosexuals and black people. lastly, do not read any David Icke. No Richard Hoagland. If you want to start somewhere, have a listen to Bill Cooper. Intriguing stuff.

l23VIVE 17

Wednesday 8 August 2012 6:36

Try using telepathy! Wait never mind, I forgot that the Gestapo control your thoughts. So if you tried using telepathy, you would actually be thinking what the Gestapo wants you to think...

Psych101 9

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:14

It was nice of you sit through that, OP. I'm sure he was glad for you being there. Hopefully that made the entire conversation worth it...

jayfreeman80 0

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:21

Sounds like a fun guy to me!!!!! Why you would think your interaction with him equates to a FML??? .With you for a grandchild it is he who should be writing FML about you!!!