Kids: Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 10 377

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 07:21 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 627

You deserved it 8 389

Get out

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 099

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:06 - United States

Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 517

You deserved it 8 361

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 126

By Stressed dad - 18/07/2017 20:00

Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 090

You deserved it 1 032

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 637

You deserved it 711

By Anonymous - 04/08/2015 01:28 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 790

You deserved it 2 148

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 403

You deserved it 6 565

We meet again

By laprochainefoisjerestealamaison - 25/02/2013 19:47 - France - Montpellier

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 495

You deserved it 5 093

HahaHokayThen 10

Monday 1 November 2010 22:52

Haha she came out of the bathroom & sees a random hobo holding her newborn.

catalystics 2

Monday 1 November 2010 22:49

u shouldve ran off with the baby

Comments

skyttlz 32

Monday 1 November 2010 23:27

wow fyl

RaRaland 8

Monday 1 November 2010 23:41

Is it a newborn baby, or puppy? I like how he says "crate".

Fortuitous 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:39

No, his baby is Jesus Christ. That's why he called it a "crate." Oh, wait... Jesus was born in a manger. Nevermind, carry on, ducklings. ;)

TryptamineDreame 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:18

Haha, he called it a crate :)

nocanhaz 4

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:34

you should have looked her in the eyes and said, "we made one damn good baby" then walked over and given her a high five

hghiPigh 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 7:00

lame

Javee 17

Monday 25 June 2012 20:05

Haha. Hopefully the woman would've washed her hands before OP high-fived her.

darklight549 2

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:34

All i can say is pwned

perez758 2

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:35

why would you not check the name tag on the bed?

littleteapot 21

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:52

or even on the baby's wrist

rockyraccoon28 8

Tuesday 2 November 2010 5:01

because he must not have had any doubts about being in the wrong room?

BethiiGeex 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:41

How would you like to see some random man holding your baby. For all you know she could of thought you was going to steal the baby... fhl :l

BroSkii69 8

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:41

Hahahahahaha that's like something that would happen in a movie xD

Celesta 11

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:42

She flushed and came out without washing her hands?!!

biskitbukit 7

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:11

haha, getting all sentimental over someone elses baby!

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I agree, your life sucks 56 320

You deserved it 9 464

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You deserved it 24 743

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I agree, your life sucks 26 276

You deserved it 10 290

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I agree, your life sucks 37 541

You deserved it 3 079

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I agree, your life sucks 31 868

You deserved it 6 317

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I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 497

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I agree, your life sucks 30 605

You deserved it 66 486