Kids: Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 10 376

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 07:21 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 627

You deserved it 8 389

Get out

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 099

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:06 - United States

Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 514

You deserved it 8 360

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 125

By Stressed dad - 18/07/2017 20:00

Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 090

You deserved it 1 031

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 637

You deserved it 711

By Anonymous - 04/08/2015 01:28 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 790

You deserved it 2 148

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 400

You deserved it 6 565

We meet again

By laprochainefoisjerestealamaison - 25/02/2013 19:47 - France - Montpellier

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 494

You deserved it 5 093

HahaHokayThen 10

Monday 1 November 2010 22:52

Haha she came out of the bathroom & sees a random hobo holding her newborn.

catalystics 2

Monday 1 November 2010 22:49

u shouldve ran off with the baby

Comments

yummycupcakegirl 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:15

congradulations!! :)

mickyb10 13

Friday 22 June 2012 1:50

U spelled congratulations wrong

Kkkdawg 27

Saturday 27 July 2013 15:22

You spelled 'you' wrong.

Jexzas 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:33

at least she wasn't a sorry obese man.

whiterabbit420 4

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:41

why was the baby in a crate?

elmorous 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:59

it was just delivered

Shorty_Shaza 5

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:42

lol that would be a funny story to tell your kid when he's older!

Sorrows 5

Tuesday 2 November 2010 2:08

Wow, you would think he would know his own baby from someone else's. Most newborns look somewhat alike, but there IS a difference. Ever had your eyes checked, OP?

garrettjordan 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 9:26

wow your cute :)

angels21 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 2:11

today I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, I went to use the bathroom and when I came out a strange man was holding my baby, I screamed and let out a queef and a fart at the same time. fml

JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 2:16

#35, and you are?

iheartglasses 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 2:43

I can understand maybe mixing up newborns, but when you go to have a baby, you turn the room into like it was some hotel. Did you not even recognize the belongings everywhere?

Sammara 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 2:59

I'm confused about why you were gone in the first place. Every new dad I know stayed in the hospital with their wives/girlfriends and newborns...

JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:01

He was in a different state when it happened? The due date is a suggestion, not the exact date you will have your labor. At least that's what I think.

fieldhockyluva24 4

Tuesday 2 November 2010 4:02

there could be a lot of reasons. they have other children and he had make sure everything was okay with them. his baby's mother forgot something at home and he went to get it. the baby had health issues and it was placed in the nicu for a long period of time, making it had for him to stay at the hospital. he had work obligations that he couldn't get out of. i'm sure the list could continue.

Random_Weirdo 2

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:16

Weird... At the hospital in my city, they have a door blocking the maternity ward and pediatric ward. And you have to push a button, giving the mothers/child's name so the receptionist can let you into the ward. And then they tell you the room where she's at.