Health: Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By irwingiggles - 08/02/2015 10:26 - Netherlands

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 826

You deserved it 4 078

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By theflow - 15/08/2012 17:08 - Australia - Perth

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 247

You deserved it 4 551

By samantha - 17/08/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 199

Oops

By maybe time to adopt - 04/03/2018 15:00

Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 544

You deserved it 1 170

By PurpleSloth - 15/02/2013 13:57 - United States - Tracy

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 911

You deserved it 16 083

I'm an empath

By S Edhouse - 13/04/2023 22:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, and ever since my wife has gone onto birth control pills for her endometriosis, her time of the month now lasts for three weeks each month out of the four, and on the fourth week she gets pains and doesn't feel like sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 230

Safety first

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 03:30 - India

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 629

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 141

You deserved it 4 190

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 411

You deserved it 33 883

By SaucierGirl - 12/08/2018 03:30

Today, I was told that since I've had only three or four periods since 2013, there's 60 periods worth of blood clotted in my uterus. They gave me medicine to make it all come out in one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 195

You deserved it 312

By Daddy. - 17/02/2010 08:15 - Australia

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 034

You deserved it 8 347

Next

Top comments

_whyme_o 12

Sunday 8 February 2015 19:03

I think you should see your doctor, because that's not normal :o

Wizardo 33

Sunday 8 February 2015 19:03

You should really go to a specialist for this, it could be a serious problem down the line.

Comments

coughingcrazy 6

Saturday 14 February 2015 14:46

Sounds like a blood cell issue. Too little platelets in your blood.

lunarviolin 9

Thursday 19 February 2015 20:10

IUD? yeah I feel you girl. good thing my man is in the marines and isn't coming back for seven months.

ctcountrygirl94 6

Friday 20 February 2015 0:11

I suggest you see a doctor. something similar happened to me and I had to have my iron levels checked and was put on a stronger birth control. plus it may cause trouble down the road if not looked into. when it comes to things like that it's always best to get it checked early.

carecam 4

Saturday 21 February 2015 17:13

You could just stop taking the pills after the third week of bleeding. Because if can't realize something is seriously wrong by that point, you're not very sharp...

blue_eyes2872 5

Saturday 21 February 2015 19:56

It takes about a year for your body to get used to it. I hate it but it helps

GAeroNKissR 26

Sunday 19 July 2015 18:56

no sex on period? news to me

anyagrande 31

Wednesday 16 December 2015 22:45

Ive literally had a period non stop since i got the implant 5 months ago

FweakofCydonia 40

Wednesday 6 January 2016 19:51

I've heard crazy stories of guys who actually want to have sex with people while they're on their period. Sounds crazy but they exist. o.O

abeaver 3

Monday 8 February 2016 20:29

was it the depo shot? that's what happened to my mom, they changed her back to the pill

Dannie1308 11

Tuesday 16 August 2016 8:17

you need a different birth control. i once had a period that lasted 9 months and it took birth control to make it stop. see your doctor and ask about progesterone to make it stop.

11
12
13
14
15

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Relatable Periods Money Transportation Cars Cats Embarrassing Neighbours Animals Miscellaneous Parenting Ironic Kids Birthday Love Surprise Cute Awkward Shopping Work Exhausted Job interview Scary Argument Romantic Family Annoying Gross Weird

The Top

Today, I thought I’d get revenge on my cheating husband by seducing the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never been attracted to women, I’ve inexplicably fallen head over heels in love with her. What now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 962

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 961

The Top

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 005

You deserved it 68 596

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 480

You deserved it 7 672

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 3 824

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590 775

You deserved it 100 337

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 3 899

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 219

You deserved it 6 880