Health: Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his... - FML

By KJL - 29/08/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 784

You deserved it 3 867

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 524

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 340

You deserved it 4 026

It sort of is

By AMP4U - 31/08/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 227

You deserved it 7 472

The real Zodiac killer?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 164

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 5 195

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 965

You deserved it 2 860

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 957

You deserved it 6 840

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 4 167

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 215

Next

Top comments

Johnothan 0

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

That's hilarious. He's winning

Ads11 10

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

*Twilight Zone Tune*

Comments

KiinqDramaQueen 0

Monday 29 August 2011 19:12

What are they saying to him?!

bubo_fml 10

Monday 29 August 2011 19:13

Have him fart "I love you, baby!" in Morse code!

dreamering 16

Monday 29 August 2011 19:43

Make sure to hold a lighter near his asshole. That will be spectacular

NomOnShroomz 14

Monday 29 August 2011 19:13

He was probably another failed Nazi experiment from world war 2.

HannahForbesxo 13

Monday 29 August 2011 19:14

You just can't pass up the opportunity to fart to him in morse code and freak him out, of course denying that you know anything. You could say that it's a sign and that he must obey! Oh the fun you could have..

turtleomnom 0

Monday 29 August 2011 19:16

that's cute

coredumpfml 4

Monday 29 August 2011 19:16

He's a keeper.

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 29 August 2011 19:17

You married him.

Kayzee01 8

Monday 29 August 2011 19:17

I lol'd. FYL OP xD

Deathhound 27

Monday 29 August 2011 19:21

Agreed! - LOL, nice xD

must_be_dreaming 0

Monday 29 August 2011 19:18

******* awesome

mohammadkm95 6

Monday 29 August 2011 19:22

LMAO. One od the best FMLs ive seen

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Transportation Poopoo peepee Cars Dentist Health Awkward Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Work Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family Parents AITA Annoying Am I overreacting? Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Food Ironic Technology

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 3 931

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 3 275

The Top

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 064

You deserved it 2 096

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 117

You deserved it 54 511

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 166

You deserved it 2 868

Today, I shaved my legs. It's been so long since I've shaved that my razor broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 355

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 2 188

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 540

You deserved it 8 955