Health: Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his...

By KJL - 29/08/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 784

You deserved it 3 868

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Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 525

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 340

You deserved it 4 026

It sort of is

By AMP4U - 31/08/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 229

You deserved it 7 472

The real Zodiac killer?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 165

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 5 195

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 966

You deserved it 2 860

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 840

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 4 167

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 216

Johnothan 0

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

That's hilarious. He's winning

Ads11 10

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

*Twilight Zone Tune*

Comments

reebokkid123 14

Monday 29 August 2011 21:31

May the farts be with him...

hyden121 2

Monday 29 August 2011 21:35

Tell him to document and publish his findings. Scientists everywhere must know!

Silence129 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:39

Its probably easier than talking with you. Women drive men to do strange stuff

aruam365 24

Monday 29 August 2011 21:39

OP, I have something rather important to tell you... you're being arrested for statutory rape, because your husband is twelve years old.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 29 August 2011 21:41

I think divination by flatulomancy is prohibited somewhere in the Bible.

MsMeiriona 2

Tuesday 30 August 2011 7:06

It would probably fall under some calling on spirits prohibition...

ashlyn88 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:43

So does my sister -.-

DamnitSarahh 7

Monday 29 August 2011 22:07

I lol'd.

sassyone123 0

Monday 29 August 2011 22:13

Oh my goodness he's cute isn't he...... He's a keeper, good girl! Mwa!

laideehawk 6

Monday 29 August 2011 22:19

Maybe your husband is a windtalker.

MsMeiriona 2

Tuesday 30 August 2011 7:08

I actually snorted in laughter at that. Hmm, wonder if that could be morse code too...

Joshoa123 16

Monday 29 August 2011 22:27

Wait... They don't?

Keywords

Awkward Weddings Miscellaneous My ex Love Jealousy Friends AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Parenting Kids Argument Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 054

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

The Top

Today, I drove through a drive-through car wash. The steering wheel turned left on it own. I was pretty sure the railing guided the car but my stupid ass turned the wheel to the other side and popped the car off the rails. It crashed into one of the machines and now I have a huge dent to the front of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 078

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 657

You deserved it 16 855

Today, I've lost so much weight from depression that I don't fit into women's clothing anymore. There's nothing like trying to find dress pants in the kids section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 130

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 884

You deserved it 5 077

Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 2 757

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 023

You deserved it 49 072