I must be tired; I misread that the first time and thought you'd said you had a ham on each breast. I was like "how in the holy **** did you get two entire hams to stay on your chest??" I need to go to bed.

Now this is where picture FML would come in handy :p

Tbh that's pretty tame. At least you were being nice and letting him have it his way for once. :) I think that's very sweet of you to do.

OP, you're a keeper

This seems strange, but relatively hamless... ehm... harmless! In all seriousness, though, unless there's a much more deviant part you left out, this really isn't all that bad as fantasies go. He's fortunate to have someone to indulge him, even once. But even if you decide it's not for you, be gentle with him. It's difficult to trust someone with a fantasy, and being cruel about them can be very damaging. Remember there are some things you might like that many people might find fair well strange as well. Sorry if I come across a bit ham-fisted, but ultimately, it's not a pig deal. Put your hair in pigtails and enjoy it!

Well that's one very specific fantasy.

What's with the hammy breasts? Is that a real thing? Is there some non-obvious appeal to it that we should all give it a try?

I would literally give anything to be in that position.

I have literally read every FML ever posted here. This one takes the trophy for the weirdest.

I may be the only one that caught the joke of your user name. Chopped liver....LMAO