Miscellaneous: Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into...

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 813

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 05:01

Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 300

By painful - 24/07/2011 08:55 - Norway

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 608

You deserved it 2 654

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 21:16 - United States - Dover

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 44 216

By aswamk - 19/12/2015 05:01 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 991

You deserved it 1 713

Thanks, but…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 00:01 - United States - Kula

Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 136

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 373

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 023

You deserved it 7 201

Inspection time

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 272

You deserved it 3 615

By TheFatOne - 31/08/2014 19:27 - United States

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 913

You deserved it 5 563

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 516

You deserved it 869

faeryofshalott 25

Monday 13 June 2016 22:45

Well, now you will be. Doesn't she read the box? If you take laxatives for too long your body won't poop without them.

Kazucchi 6

Monday 13 June 2016 22:53

At least you've never been full of shit. You have that going for you.

Comments

faeryofshalott 25

Monday 13 June 2016 22:45

Well, now you will be. Doesn't she read the box? If you take laxatives for too long your body won't poop without them.

Jared900DUmpling 30

Tuesday 14 June 2016 3:14

Wait, seriously? I don't know whether this is a joke or not as I've never had to use laxatives

wow2mylife 25

Tuesday 14 June 2016 4:18

it's true same with emmas I know because I'm a vet

faeryofshalott 25

Tuesday 14 June 2016 5:53

#17 it's true. What happens is that after awhile of taking laxatives (depending on strength) your body becomes dependent on the laxatives and so you become more constipated. That's why you're more likely to be prescribed a high fibre diet over a laxative for constipation.

Elena95 16

Tuesday 14 June 2016 6:19

I know I can't go without Emma. She keeps begging me to stop dragging her to the bathroom when I need to do my business, but what are you gonna do?

coyotefox 25

Tuesday 14 June 2016 12:58

17 and a vet? Yeah I don't think so.

wow2mylife 25

Tuesday 14 June 2016 20:08

Okay I'm in a vet school and volunteer at one

Kieranr10 23

Monday 13 June 2016 22:46

How on earth didn't u notice that

tigerisabelle 31

Tuesday 14 June 2016 0:10

Yes, when I have an upset stomach, I immediately assume someone must be slipping laxatives in my food. That's why i have my pet human taste all my meals for me

Kitcat1234 21

Tuesday 14 June 2016 2:20

Where'd you get your pet human? Mine's been acting up recently and I'm thinking of getting a replacement. Training them is just so hard.

ShleeG 23

Tuesday 14 June 2016 5:00

#14 you can't just replace your pet human! that's terrible! if you can't handle your human you don't deserve to have one at all!

izzajaneful 24

Tuesday 14 June 2016 7:54

Maybe OP does need laxatives if they never noticed anything amiss.

PhantomKitty 26

Tuesday 14 June 2016 21:07

Obviously they did notice something amiss, because otherwise this wouldn't be on FML.

tigerisabelle 31

Tuesday 14 June 2016 23:53

#14, I bought him at Costco. I had to sacrifice some quality, but you can't beat the price. Plus, I get 50% off my next purchase!

Xcizer 17

Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:54

I got my African and German breed at PeoplePets.org. You can get them for 20% off if you use CodeKeem.

izzajaneful 24

Thursday 16 June 2016 10:23

The way it was worded ("found out") made me think he caught her adding them or heard about it from someone else, not necessarily that he noticed anything wrong about his bodily functions. Obviously, she should not be secretly drugging him. Doing so over a long period of time may even cause OP to continue to need them.