I've never had this problem, to be honest. My boyfriend's mother is one of the sweetest women I know. His step-mom is also very nice. Is the bitchy MIL an American thing?

32-- I think it is a "just varies, no matter where you live" thing. My ex's mom was beyond horrible, but my current boyfriend's mom is really sweet. Another ex of mine hated his ex mil and she lived in India.

33 has it right. It's more a roll of the dice, less a regional thing. I got snake eyes on my dice. Glad you got a lucky seven.

#32 I don't get it either. my BF's mom is very good to me.

My MIL is very nice but if she is rude and you mention it she looks at what she has said and apologies, his step father is also very nice. My husbands stepmum and his father are the most nasty, manipulative people you have met, same goes for his grandmother(his fathers mother, apple doesn't fall far from the tree). It's the luck of the draw with most people you meet in life, I am just grateful the nasty inlaws live 3hrs away so I rarely see them and they are moving overseas this year, yay for me :D

"Unfortunately, yes that cow is indeed my mother-in-law."

careful, the cow might get offended.

It great that you two are able to deal with it, but it's not always as easy as "suck it up". Unsupportive family can put a lot of strain on a relationship. Some couples (you and your husband) are able to deal with that stress and that's great. Others (possibly OP and her boyfriend) cannot handle stress well. It's just not fair to say suck it up when this situation can be very hard to deal with.

As someone in a similar situation, it is beyond stressful. We're at the point of being ready to get married, but if it ends up with guilt trips etc from my mother the way it has seemed like it will, I'll probably end up with severe anxiety.

My mother and step dad hate my husband, I ended up having to cut them out of my life because they were putting so much stress on us. Some people can't do that, so by saying to put on "your big girl panties" is kind of insulting.