By Attacksloth - 23/04/2015 22:45 - Canada - Sudbury

Spicy
Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 870
You deserved it 4 017

Attacksloth tells us more.

Attacksloth 33

OP here. I was at a university, so like all schools, sex is fairly common here. I actually don't know if the contents were... legit sperm, but it seemed like they had the correct colour and, regrettably, consistency, judging by the shit left on my leg. It didn't look like pudding or mayonnaise or anything edible. Right now I'm just talking myself into a sense of security by telling myself that nobody in their right mind would actually be that disgusting. The second one missed me, because I saw them chucking it, so I ducked out of the way. Luckily I had extra pants from the gym so I just changed into those, and I refused to touch the condoms until a janitor came in with some heavy duty gloves. I don't think it was an act of revenge, because I haven't really talked to people much this year - I'm either with my wife, exercising alone, or researching alone. The boy who threw them was with a girl and they were both laughing. I memorized their faces, so if I see them on campus, they can receive some "polite Canadian justice".

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Top comments

TheCerealKiller 24

I'm just imagining it exploding on impact...

280 3
meisan 12

were they just carrying shit loads of used condoms for no reason?..

257 2

Comments

Stillo 25

and this was a used condom? O.o oh wow....

4 16
Dreamsorrow93 24

It's honestly something I've cum to expect from this generation.

17 25
abNormal62 23

What a bunch of ******* Winkers, proficient wankers but wankers nonetheless

13 5
dawood_k 27

Where on earth does this happen? I'm flabbergasted. Did it at least have a happy ending? For You

3 12
CaroAurelia 12

I think "why on earth does this happen" is a better question.

2 2
MrConcise 34

Luckily, the genes that make them assholes will most likely not be passed on.

23 1
LissaPalumbo 14

i just keep thinking about the fact that there was more than one used condom...anyone else maybe??

12 1
JKROB 16

sex multiple times, nothing wrong with that

2 5
codytallica 38

Canadians aren't so nice after all. Oh Canada, smh.

18 3
Emmamazing 26

Okay that's not funny. Stereotypes are annoying. How about I say all Americans are fat? Or famous? Would you enjoy that?

3 33
KayDee29 31

#30 woah there buddy. Slow down the unnecessary offense train. Besides, how can a stereotype about a group of people being nice be taken offensively? I mean come on.

24 2
codytallica 38

Thanks for confirming what I said #30, learn to take a joke. I personally laugh at stereotypes cause people are what they are and if we can laugh about then that's no fun. Thanks for the defense #33.

11 1
KayDee29 31

#35 you're welcome! And I definitely agree. If we can't laugh at things and ourselves, then what's the point?

8 2
theTravinator 21

"Hey you think I'm nice? WELL **** YOU TOO" *angrily writes apology letter*

27 3
Emmamazing 26

Well idc. I'm tired of stereotypes in general. It's annoying

2 16
trickster91420 21

Being famous? Of course I would. Who wouldn't?

4 2
BigC_from_Bama 16

Just be glad we haven't annexed you yet. Murica'

2 5
Brandi_Faith 33

30, I'm Canadian and I love our stereotype! You should too. We're the only country in the world that is known for being "too nice" and apologizing all the time. That's awesome! I take pride in the fact that our stereotype is actually based on some reality. Canadians are, generally speaking, very polite, nice and we apologize when we're in the wrong. Good on us!

5 1