Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML - FML

By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 275

You deserved it 15 865

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Same thing different taste

By big_bail - 03/04/2015 23:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 670

You deserved it 2 535

Hi uncle, I'm dad

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 00:30

Today, I found out I'm an uncle. Normally this would be great news, except I have spent the last 8 years thinking I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 71

By jellybean_94 - 15/08/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 435

You deserved it 7 376

By yayme. - 11/07/2013 22:26 - United States - Bismarck

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 275

You deserved it 4 042

Words is hard

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 00:00

Today, when I got to a family reunion, I realized I've been on the internet for so long that I've forgotten how to have an actual conversation with real people. Now I'm the "Weird Uncle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 797

Don't give a shit

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 01:00

Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age, nor birthday. They are twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 1 640

By stalkered - 22/07/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, I finally figured out who has been stalking me for the past 5 months. And we're related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 127

You deserved it 3 097

Diaspora

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 205

By Ben - 18/06/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 814

You deserved it 7 101

That's so sick!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 98

Next

Top comments

yolibeth221 9

Friday 30 August 2013 18:53

If the shoe fits

Conn3ct 9

Friday 30 August 2013 18:54

Every family has one. Someone has to do.

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 30 August 2013 22:40

The awkward moment when you realize the overly developed girl you told your family about is only 12.

Bluelephant88 5

Friday 30 August 2013 22:42

I'm the crazy aunt in my family lol

FrankHotpants 31

Friday 30 August 2013 23:27

Good olde uncle Buck.

ghil15 8

Friday 30 August 2013 23:43

is that a good thing or bad thing to know??...

natywantspeace 7

Friday 30 August 2013 23:53

Have fun with it

Emiler98 11

Friday 30 August 2013 23:55

Maybe you should work on that :)

frip_fml 9

Saturday 31 August 2013 0:07

Charlie chester, child molester. Google it.

molliciousj 19

Saturday 31 August 2013 1:07

My creepy uncle had been divorced 3 times, was accused of molestation and had a very very lazy eye. I'm curious to find out how you got the creepy uncle title...

srogue74 5

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:12

welcome to the creepy uncle group new guy.

Anonomusturd 9

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:30

Yeah, but who was your source? The pathological-liar nephew? The mad-every-day grandpa? Perhaps the drama-queen mother in law? It's all relative

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The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, like every day, I'm an intersex woman. I can't orgasm, have no vagina, and can't have my own kids. Every new partner I have requires an embarrassing explanation and biology lesson because no one knows what intersex means, even though it's quite common. At least I don't get periods? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 326

Today, I got a ticket for parking "illegally." I was waiting for my handicapped dad at the airport and had all the required documents to park as I did while waiting for him. The cop didn't care, and now I have to go through bureaucracy hell to get it cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 114

Today, my boyfriend informed me that the mother of his children, from whom he is not divorced yet, is moving back into his house because she broke up with her boyfriend and has nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 644

You deserved it 8 346

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 966

You deserved it 6 123

Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 181

Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 618

You deserved it 17 106