Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

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By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 279

You deserved it 15 866

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Same thing different taste

By big_bail - 03/04/2015 23:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 680

You deserved it 2 535

Hi uncle, I'm dad

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 00:30

Today, I found out I'm an uncle. Normally this would be great news, except I have spent the last 8 years thinking I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 011

You deserved it 72

By jellybean_94 - 15/08/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 448

You deserved it 7 382

By yayme. - 11/07/2013 22:26 - United States - Bismarck

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 281

You deserved it 4 042

Words is hard

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 00:00

Today, when I got to a family reunion, I realized I've been on the internet for so long that I've forgotten how to have an actual conversation with real people. Now I'm the "Weird Uncle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 802

Don't give a shit

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 01:00

Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age, nor birthday. They are twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 1 648

By stalkered - 22/07/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, I finally figured out who has been stalking me for the past 5 months. And we're related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 132

You deserved it 3 098

Diaspora

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 208

By Ben - 18/06/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 819

You deserved it 7 102

That's so sick!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 104

yolibeth221 9

Friday 30 August 2013 18:53

If the shoe fits

Conn3ct 9

Friday 30 August 2013 18:54

Every family has one. Someone has to do.

Comments

rt156 16

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:17

How did u find out?tell us the full story

Canureadthis 4

Saturday 31 August 2013 16:12

Lmao it's ok nobody can be worse then my.creepy uncle.

museerux01 10

Sunday 1 September 2013 1:27

and so what if OP is your uncle O.O

blackwolf91 13

Monday 2 September 2013 6:57

Vegetarians are lazy posers.

bradjh76 2

Wednesday 4 September 2013 15:20

So am I. Embrace it!

dunebro 15

Friday 6 September 2013 13:52

Congratulations!

dunicha 20

Monday 11 November 2013 9:10

Stop staring at your nieces.

gaiakirkland 10

Monday 3 March 2014 22:09

Uncle Ernie is that you?

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 924

You deserved it 16 363

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 303

The Top

Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 902

You deserved it 4 577

Today, I ran into one of my classmates from high school. She’s really annoying and she talks A LOT. Honestly all I wanted was some coffee and some loneliness before my class started, but she just kept talking and talking and wouldn’t leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 176

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 994

You deserved it 12 594

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 866

You deserved it 8 904

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 777

You deserved it 20 101

Today, the most exciting notification I received was Amazon telling me that my bulk order of toilet paper had been shipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 268