Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 275

You deserved it 15 865

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Same thing different taste

By big_bail - 03/04/2015 23:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 670

You deserved it 2 535

Hi uncle, I'm dad

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 00:30

Today, I found out I'm an uncle. Normally this would be great news, except I have spent the last 8 years thinking I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 71

By jellybean_94 - 15/08/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 435

You deserved it 7 376

By yayme. - 11/07/2013 22:26 - United States - Bismarck

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 275

You deserved it 4 042

Words is hard

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 00:00

Today, when I got to a family reunion, I realized I've been on the internet for so long that I've forgotten how to have an actual conversation with real people. Now I'm the "Weird Uncle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 797

Don't give a shit

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 01:00

Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age, nor birthday. They are twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 1 640

By stalkered - 22/07/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, I finally figured out who has been stalking me for the past 5 months. And we're related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 127

You deserved it 3 097

Diaspora

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 205

By Ben - 18/06/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 814

You deserved it 7 101

That's so sick!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 98

yolibeth221 9

Friday 30 August 2013 18:53

If the shoe fits

Conn3ct 9

Friday 30 August 2013 18:54

Every family has one. Someone has to do.

Comments

rt156 16

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:17

How did u find out?tell us the full story

Canureadthis 4

Saturday 31 August 2013 16:12

Lmao it's ok nobody can be worse then my.creepy uncle.

museerux01 10

Sunday 1 September 2013 1:27

and so what if OP is your uncle O.O

blackwolf91 13

Monday 2 September 2013 6:57

Vegetarians are lazy posers.

bradjh76 2

Wednesday 4 September 2013 15:20

So am I. Embrace it!

dunebro 15

Friday 6 September 2013 13:52

Congratulations!

dunicha 20

Monday 11 November 2013 9:10

Stop staring at your nieces.

gaiakirkland 10

Monday 3 March 2014 22:09

Uncle Ernie is that you?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

The Top

Today, my mother told me that I could take a friend on vacation with us. Then she added that because I have no friends, my brother can bring his girlfriend instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 1 006

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 619

You deserved it 2 847

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 912

You deserved it 54 691

Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 249

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 114

You deserved it 5 188

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 327

You deserved it 7 208