Intimacy: Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 617

You deserved it 13 190

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Same thing different taste

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 12 176

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 198

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 464

You deserved it 5 680

Thanks, Mom

By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 458

You deserved it 3 311

Freeze peach

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 22:30

Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 274

Meddling

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 652

Parenting fail

By Anonymous - 21/01/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 549

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 01:48 - Canada

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 177

You deserved it 41 142

Call the police!

By ChangingTheLocks - 13/07/2019 12:30

Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 160

Inappropriate, honey

By Jessica - 15/05/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 111

You deserved it 47 708

TheOthin 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 9:53

I can't be the only one who missed the "in law" bit at first.

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 9:23

maybe you should do it in THEIR bed

Comments

rocker_chick23 27

Wednesday 25 February 2015 1:16

I am shocked at how many of you dumbasses thought this FML was talking about incest. Let me dumb it down for you. OP's son was ******* his WIFE on the furniture, not his sister.