Animals: Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction....

By animallover - 26/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 578

You deserved it 5 303

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Same thing different taste

By poohead - 09/12/2009 05:07 - Australia

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 146

You deserved it 30 209

By mother of piggies - 04/04/2018 15:00

Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 109

You deserved it 427

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 879

You deserved it 7 341

By HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 993

You deserved it 3 848

By drew the short straw - 15/12/2018 13:30

Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 223

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 257

You deserved it 6 220

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 382

By Radioo - 18/01/2010 09:00 - United States

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 841

You deserved it 6 784

By unknown - 28/05/2019 04:00

Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 325

By tannarox - 28/01/2012 15:46 - United States

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 791

You deserved it 2 561

Mysanitywins 10

Sunday 26 June 2011 12:41

You can't see the OP's name? Derp

ImaWiseGuy 5

Sunday 26 June 2011 12:55

I guess that's how you rectify a situation...literally...

Comments

dabom392 4

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:20

kill the base terd

tetrafan 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:23

put it down!!!! u r Cruel to let an animal suffer!

kmsmith87 2

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:28

get rid of it

amberlovesorange 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:30

sell it to someone else then say it's perfectly healthy(:

cockseverywhere 2

Sunday 26 June 2011 20:06

oh yeah. and then the poor animal can explode internally from all the shit. good idea.

kakurenbo 1

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:33

I'd poison him if I were you.

BradenLock 4

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:35

it's a guinea pig. kill it get over it and move on

Skullcrusher 5

Sunday 26 June 2011 19:11

It would be adios guinea pig!

Gabriellax3 6

Sunday 26 June 2011 19:12

i think its best to say its time to put it down

sky22_fml 7

Sunday 26 June 2011 19:13

Awww how sad...pour guinea pig... Oh & you :P

iBeast101 5

Sunday 26 June 2011 19:14

it's called "responsibility".

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 724

The Top

Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 647

You deserved it 1 290

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 785

You deserved it 3 512

Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 332

Today, I attended a virtual meeting and forgot to mute myself while I was eating crisps. The crunching sounds were so loud that everyone in the meeting started imitating them. It became the most unproductive yet hilarious meeting ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 763

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 779

You deserved it 31 266

Today, I had a bad and very unenthusiastic one night stand and tried to quietly order an Uber while she was getting dressed. Turns out, she's an Uber driver and being as she was in the area, the alert came over her phone. She was furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 902

Same thing different taste

What a cozy moment

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