Work: Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea... - FML

By drew the short straw - 15/12/2018 13:30

Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 222

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 2 891

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 787

You deserved it 837

Unplugged

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 08:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, after working many 80+ hour weeks, a patient called to urgently come with their sick infant. Of course, I stayed late to help them. The baby had been constipated for a full 24 hours, and the parents had panicked. During the examination, the baby shat on my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 88

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 965

You deserved it 1 779

My idea of fun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 725

You deserved it 3 903

Delicious hell

By superdrinkingbud - 23/06/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, after having diarrhoea all week, my girlfriend dragged me to London. Expecting to not be able to find a toilet, I decided to fast for the day. We spent 3 hours wandering the food stalls of Camden market with her friends. So many free samples I had to refuse… FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 031

You deserved it 613

Leftovers

By Well Shit - 16/08/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 420

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 768

You deserved it 2 494

By missTyfied - 25/08/2012 19:11 - Philippines - Sucat

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 191

You deserved it 3 507

Next

Top comments

Glowworm56 26

Saturday 15 December 2018 15:41

Sorry, I just keep picturing you trying to chase after this poor pony who just wants to be left alone, but keeps leaving such an obvious trail for you to follow it. It's hilarious.

Hejira Hayes 8

Sunday 16 December 2018 6:21

Aww; poor thing had the trots. :(

Comments

Lukr 8

Saturday 15 December 2018 13:40

Well that stinks...

Glowworm56 26

Saturday 15 December 2018 15:41

Sorry, I just keep picturing you trying to chase after this poor pony who just wants to be left alone, but keeps leaving such an obvious trail for you to follow it. It's hilarious.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 15 December 2018 19:03

How many buckets of diarrhea did you need? Or are you just greedy for equine poop?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 15 December 2018 22:58

Weirdest petting zoo experience I've ever had.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 16 December 2018 4:30

Aww yes the adventure of being a poop checker 😂😂

Hejira Hayes 8

Sunday 16 December 2018 6:21

Aww; poor thing had the trots. :(

Keywords

Work Coworkers Transportation Cars Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Miscellaneous Love Awkward Health My ex Scams Sex Money Family AITA Healthy Lifestyle Am I overreacting? Babies Kids Mental health Sleep Parents Cheating Break-ups Nice Guys Facebook

The Top

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 8 340

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 263

You deserved it 4 813

The Top

Today, I went to the orthopedist resulting from an incident last Sunday during a baseball game. After crushing a hit into right field, I slid into second base, making it thankfully, toppling over the base. The orthopedist needs a STAT MRI about a possible torn ACL and a possible torn MCL. We also lost 22-1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 128

Today, I missed the bus. I ran to the metro station in 45°C heat, slipped on dog shit, and fell face-first onto a staircase, breaking my glasses and front left tooth. As I tried to get up, my bag got stuck on the railing and tore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 752

You deserved it 312

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 539

Today, I’ve been depressed and lonely for almost half my life now, and no longer have any friends or family. I realised I often started hallucinating, most of it making me able to see my childhood and me playing when we were kids. This is getting too painful to bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 142

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 195

You deserved it 3 481

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 312

You deserved it 2 466