By imchacon22 - 26/10/2013 22:42 - United States - Fort Riley
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Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my name. This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and things we have gotten since we have been married are ours. And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served our country doesn't make him entitled to make decisions like this without me. His mom has only met me once when she came to stay with us and in that short week she managed to insult me each and every single day and to act like she was running things. She isn't in need either it's just that his sister and brother don't want her living with them either because of the way she acts and demands things so I guess he's doing it to get her off their backs. But anyways maybe he'll change his mind or she will get a job and a place of her own.
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If my SO did that... I would tell him NO WAY!! Up to him to have the awkward convo afterwards... darn it.
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Show it anywaySo if your partner brings up a dozen stray cats, some foster kids and the homeless guy from the park into your house, you would happily welcome them at once? You know, being the good Samaritan and such.
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bunny973
4
he should have asked first no matter what moms condition is. This is something that affects OPs life to not just his or his mothers. OP should have had a say in it before the decision was made.
timss4
19
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Show it anywayAny parent moving can ruin a relationship, not just his mother. Even moving in with them. Hopefully if this happens - the moving in mother, she will make herself distant with comments and guidance.
I am certain that many people would not think it is okay for a woman to do the same thing. I just think you're trying to find double standards in everything.
Why is it "my house" instead of "our house"?
Maybe she bought the house before they were married.
"We are moving into" means they both had houses, they got married, he sold his, and they'll be moving into "her" house. Yes, at that point it is "their" house, but that hasn't happened yet. The point here is that of the two original houses that existed, hers is the one that they kept. Think of it this way: When someone asks you "which house did you keep?" would you honestly answer by saying "our house." That's nonsense. You'd say "her house."
Actually he did not have a house army pays for housing so we have been living on post. Before that he rented a place with his sister, brother, niece, and mom.
My parents gave me a house well before we got married.
oooohhhhh jeeebus! Good luck op! All I can say, .... gooooood luck...
You are married and you say "my house" I guess you both have issues.
The house is in her name not his so yeah it is HER house!
There is no "my" once you're married.
My husband is okay with me saying "my tampons", "my curling iron", "my clothes". Some things we just don't share. But you're right--marriage is a partnership. I'm not possessive. If he wants to use any of "my" things, he can. Same for me with "his" things.
Brightbulb
39
Hi, just have to interject something here. During my besties short lived marriage (he was killed they did not divorce) they both filed a prenup. She kept sole possession of some things ( her car, personal accounts and the house she inherited from he grandfather) and he kept sole possession of something's ( his car, personal accounts and other odds and end items) yes they both lived in HER house, and called it their HOME, but the actual house was still hers, not theirs. They both understood this, just as they both used both cars but one was his and the other was hers. Just because your married it does not mean you automatically get everything that is theirs.
I kind of know how you feel, apparently my mother-in-law is moving in with us too and although the hubby mentions that she will probably move in one day, I didn't think it would be so soon!
perdix
29
Military service teaches leadership and strategic decision-making. Your husband had drawn up a battle plan for Operation Oedipus, so you need to fall in, soldier. Hoo-hah!
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Why are you waiting for him to change his mind? Tell him no - period. Remind him of the way she treated you on your one and only visit with her and tell him that you are not going to live like that on a full time basis. The fact that the house is in your name isn't even an issue here. What is an issue is that he thinks he can move people into the house without bothering to make sure that you are ok with it. Then again if he does not have the heart to say no he just might be waiting for you to step up and do it for him. "Sorry, my wife won't let me." is a much easier thing to tell your mother than the truth. Either way it will be a definite fml and f your marriage if you let someone who does not respect you move in.
That's pretty ****** up that your husband wouldn't talk to you first about someone moving in, even if it's family. Hopefully she's not a monster-in-law, right?