By imchacon22 - 26/10/2013 22:42 - United States - Fort Riley
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imchacon22 tells us more.
Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my name. This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and things we have gotten since we have been married are ours. And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served our country doesn't make him entitled to make decisions like this without me. His mom has only met me once when she came to stay with us and in that short week she managed to insult me each and every single day and to act like she was running things. She isn't in need either it's just that his sister and brother don't want her living with them either because of the way she acts and demands things so I guess he's doing it to get her off their backs. But anyways maybe he'll change his mind or she will get a job and a place of her own.
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I would lose it. Sucks!
SuperMew
22
Choosing your battles is important when you are married. However, I would have a long discussion and tell him that you do not want his mother living with you. Offer to help her find employment and an apartment, but that you do not want her in the house.
Always assess anything with your girlfriend/wife no matter what it is...he should know that...
juarezj96
12
If you guys are married why are you calling it YOUR house. What's yours is his, sweetheart.
squideth
18
No it's actually HER ******* house, sweetheart. Condescending much?
Sweetpea22
14
It's in her name, so technically it is her house. Do you understand? Moron
Obviously some people have never been thru a divorce before. In community property states that house is already half his. And even in non community property states there is no guarantee of her having to buy him out of "her" house, unless he signed a prenup regarding that house. The issue of the house, and who owns it is irrelevant to the issue anyway, the issue is Respect of each other's feelings. He did not consider her feelings, of having the mom move in, and sounds to me she isn't considering his feelings either. She may be married to mommas boy. If MIL is as mean as she claims, and hubby saw this, then he is an idiot for insisting she move in. Or an evil genius, using this situation as a catalyst for a divorce, making OP look mean and uncaring for court. . .
You can get great tips and share your story in Daugher in Law Sisterhood :P - Where women with devil mother in laws can assemble and support each other. Either your husband wanted to protect his siblings, or he's a momma's boy and you're in for some trouble...
strawberrywine22
30
I plan on looking into this!! Also, there's a site called I hate my in laws. Love it.
It's not "your" house after you get married! But, he should've asked you! No way would my ma in law move in with me! She's hated me the whole 27 yrs we've been together! She'd really make my life miserable if she lived with me! I kinda feel bad saying that since my in laws are near 90 but, she's really treated me badly!
Unless his name is on the papers it's HER house. Just because they're married doesn't mean he owns it too. Unless they lived in a state that has laws that say once your married everything is both parties.
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayIt's not his house. It's hers.
Sweetpea22
14
Honey, learn to read before commenting. It's under HER name so it's legally HER house.
Wow, first of all, learn to read. Second, even if it WAS his house, he still should consult with his wife (the other half of the marriage, you know) before making a decision like that.
Not okay. Tell him that is not okay and you need to be just a part of that decision as he is...
omg! thats not fair at all
If you're married, it's his house too...
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Why are you waiting for him to change his mind? Tell him no - period. Remind him of the way she treated you on your one and only visit with her and tell him that you are not going to live like that on a full time basis. The fact that the house is in your name isn't even an issue here. What is an issue is that he thinks he can move people into the house without bothering to make sure that you are ok with it. Then again if he does not have the heart to say no he just might be waiting for you to step up and do it for him. "Sorry, my wife won't let me." is a much easier thing to tell your mother than the truth. Either way it will be a definite fml and f your marriage if you let someone who does not respect you move in.
That's pretty ****** up that your husband wouldn't talk to you first about someone moving in, even if it's family. Hopefully she's not a monster-in-law, right?