By imchacon22 - 26/10/2013 22:42 - United States - Fort Riley

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 682
You deserved it 3 284

imchacon22 tells us more.

imchacon22 19

Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my name. This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and things we have gotten since we have been married are ours. And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served our country doesn't make him entitled to make decisions like this without me. His mom has only met me once when she came to stay with us and in that short week she managed to insult me each and every single day and to act like she was running things. She isn't in need either it's just that his sister and brother don't want her living with them either because of the way she acts and demands things so I guess he's doing it to get her off their backs. But anyways maybe he'll change his mind or she will get a job and a place of her own.

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Top comments

Sparx1_1 16

Why are you waiting for him to change his mind? Tell him no - period. Remind him of the way she treated you on your one and only visit with her and tell him that you are not going to live like that on a full time basis. The fact that the house is in your name isn't even an issue here. What is an issue is that he thinks he can move people into the house without bothering to make sure that you are ok with it. Then again if he does not have the heart to say no he just might be waiting for you to step up and do it for him. "Sorry, my wife won't let me." is a much easier thing to tell your mother than the truth. Either way it will be a definite fml and f your marriage if you let someone who does not respect you move in.

179 1
HeyHeyFishFillet 34

That's pretty ****** up that your husband wouldn't talk to you first about someone moving in, even if it's family. Hopefully she's not a monster-in-law, right?

99 1

Comments

Kreneaa 6

Majority if the time, mother-in-laws are the worst. Good luck.

2 1
JMichael 25

That's quite inconsiderate of him. Marriage is a partnership and otherwise should be treated as so.

4 0
ulissey_fml 22

She's a MILF B*TCH : a Mother In Law Ficking Barging Into Thy Couple's Home...

3 13
Neesalun 20

This is not good. She will be in the middle of your relationship and ruin it if she is one of those "still attached by umbilical cord" kind of mom's.

4 0
skyeyez9 24

Tell your mother in law asap that it isnt ok to move in because he never discussed it with you.

2 0
imchacon22 19

Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my name. This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and things we have gotten since we have been married are ours. And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served our country doesn't make him entitled to make decisions like this without me. His mom has only met me once when she came to stay with us and in that short week she managed to insult me each and every single day and to act like she was running things. She isn't in need either it's just that his sister and brother don't want her living with them either because of the way she acts and demands things so I guess he's doing it to get her off their backs. But anyways maybe he'll change his mind or she will get a job and a place of her own.

135 4
Sparx1_1 16

Why are you waiting for him to change his mind? Tell him no - period. Remind him of the way she treated you on your one and only visit with her and tell him that you are not going to live like that on a full time basis. The fact that the house is in your name isn't even an issue here. What is an issue is that he thinks he can move people into the house without bothering to make sure that you are ok with it. Then again if he does not have the heart to say no he just might be waiting for you to step up and do it for him. "Sorry, my wife won't let me." is a much easier thing to tell your mother than the truth. Either way it will be a definite fml and f your marriage if you let someone who does not respect you move in.

179 1
adjwejaelwkdc 21

It sound like both of you have some control issues. If neither of you owned the house and you were renting the house, it STILL would not be okay for him to invite his mother to move in with you. It is a decision of such magnitude that neither of you should even CONSIDER making it without talking to the other one. And your saying "It's MY house, so I get to decide," is just a tactic for asserting your own control over the situation. Maybe you should consider couples counseling.

Norvi 26

It seems your husband is used to living with his family and assumes you'd feel the same. I hope you tell him how you feel and that he's willing to discuss things. If not, this might be a red light in your marriage.

60 1
Sweetpea22 14

How is she being controlling? It's HER house, not his

81 10
SuperMew 22

I would just say no. You don't have to let her move in. I understand he is your husband, but I would refuse.

62 0
Eve50 5

If it was my husband, it would be mother in law out or both her and the husband out. His decision. And I understand she'd want to live nearby, but no closer than 5 minutes by bicycle. That's walking distance, but not making it too easy. Last: Our home, our rules. If you behave like a nice guest, you'll be treated like one, if you behave like a bossy mother in law, you'll be treated not as nice.

44 0
skyeyez9 24

Under no circumstances would I allow a mother in law who insults me and undermines me every chance she gets! Imagine how much she will meddle in your married life, and if you have kids. She will manipulate and undermine your parental choices.

52 0
eaa19 2

Whether or not the house is in your name (or his, or both), he should've run it by you. You guys are supposed to be partners and big decisions like that should be unanimous -or at the very least discussed.

38 0
MrsDruidess 23

I have to agree with 68 & 105! You can't live like that, it will damage if not ruin your marriage. If her undermining and insults don't drive you away, the irritation that he put you in this position will drive a wedge between you. You guys are a team, he cant just up and move his mother in, at the same time, you can't play the its my house card (unless its the excuse he gives his mother as to why she can't move in) I get the yours, mine, ours thing but at some point, it has to all be ours to be a real team. For the marriage, say NO!! Good luck OP!

23 3
MikaykayUnicorn 36

106 if they're newlyweds, I could see them being like "this is mine, that's yours." And even if they've been married for years, she still has the right to say "This house is in my name, no, your mom can't move in." and the husband will have to understand, or leave.

17 0
paleriderdeath 8

and I'm sorry to tell you but when you get married your supposed to be as one flesh as one. That means it's as much his house as it is yours

4 37
Eorlas 31

Not sure where you guys are from, but according to laws around here it doesn't matter if it's "technically" yours. The law says married couples share 50% of *everything*. Assets, debt, etc.

7 34
raytyler26 16

Very well said my friend.

1 4
ashley9782001 9

It does suck that he didn't ask you first but what does the fact that it's your house have to do with anything? You're married now, just because you had the house before you were married doesn't mean you get to call all of the shots

16 63
fakedsincerity 32

doesn't mean he gets to call all the shots either. you just debunked your own argument.

37 0
Bcfrmkc816 17

Absolutely 100% right. She needs to wake up to reality

0 23
buttcramp 21

it depends what state you're in.. here in Texas once you're married you share everything. my car is in my name but technically it belongs to my husband too.. it doesn't matter though because this is about respect and being considerate. you guys need to have a talk about boundaries.

25 1
besitos30 5

Your house? You're married, it's both of your house...

5 51
hcollins1 18

The house is under HER name so technically yes the house IS hers even though they're married. Even if it were THEIR house they got TOGETHER, doesn't mean he can just invite his mother to move in with them without consulting with OP first.

14 0
UsagiArwen 23

At this point, it doesn't matter whether it's strictly under your name. You're married, which means it's his house too. He's not a *guest* there, he's your husband. But it doesn't mean he should get to call shots like that without your input. I would talk to him about it and tell him my thoughts, if I were you, because that's not a fair call on his part. FYL.

8 16
Needafarm 22

Actually you are incorrect there about it being "their" house. Just because you are married does not mean that something like a house is both of yours. If his name is on the title and the tax papers, then he might have a claim to it, but if not, it would be solely hers. The only way around that is IF they are in a community property state where everything is half and half and there is no prenup stating that the house will always be hers.

9 0