By imchacon22 - 26/10/2013 22:42 - United States - Fort Riley
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Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my name. This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and things we have gotten since we have been married are ours. And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served our country doesn't make him entitled to make decisions like this without me. His mom has only met me once when she came to stay with us and in that short week she managed to insult me each and every single day and to act like she was running things. She isn't in need either it's just that his sister and brother don't want her living with them either because of the way she acts and demands things so I guess he's doing it to get her off their backs. But anyways maybe he'll change his mind or she will get a job and a place of her own.
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das_shizzle
16
My husband and I have an arrangement, if we want to tell our family no, we have the other do it because we don't have the heart to tell them no. But we sure have no problems telling each others family no. It works :)
The house is in her name. But even if it were shared property, it would be courteous if the husband asked his wife if his mother could move in with them because that's what considerate spouses do. Your husband is an ass, OP, and I'm sorry you just found it out.
vivalabutterfly
5
**** what everyone else is negativly saying to tou. if she isn't in need she can live on her own. if she's going to move in and insults tou and trys to take over then stick up for yourself and tell her either she respects YOUR home or shes shit out if luck. just because shes your mother inlaw doesn't mwan she has a right to live off you and make your life misserable especially if she's capable on her own!
devans00
14
Stories like this make me so happy I didn't get married.
You b****. After what he has experienced, if he wants to spend some time with momy, you better nut up shut your mouth and allow the man to live his life with those he think are important to him. It's a real eye opener being deployed, too bad he has to comeback to a thick headed wife like you. You're married be supportive. Give his mom a room away from yours. Lay down some ground rules, but let the man live happy. He knows what's important and mom won't be around forever.
Uh, excuse me? OP has every right to be angry. Her husband didn’t consult her before saying yes, it’s HER house, and the in-law is shitty as can be to her for no reason other than because she married her son, apparently. If the husband wanted to spend time with the mom, then he can VISIT, not invite the monster-in-law to live in someone else’s house. Besides, what makes you think that the MIL will listen to ANY rules that OP places down? You’re the thick headed one here, not the wife.
The ex & I are phenomenal friends, but he would not ever have been dumb enough to pull a stunt like that. I am all for supporting our vets, but that is just assinine.
Amen! Seriously don't let her move in..,u will regret it...
Another tick in the "why I never want to get married again" column.
Obviously some people have never been thru a divorce before. In community property states that house is already half his. And even in non community property states there is no guarantee of her having to buy him out of "her" house, unless he signed a prenup regarding that house. The issue of the house, and who owns it is irrelevant to the issue anyway, the issue is Respect of each other's feelings. He did not consider her feelings, of having the mom move in, and sounds to me she isn't considering his feelings either. She may be married to mommas boy. If MIL is as mean as she claims, and hubby saw this, then he is an idiot for insisting she move in. Or an evil genius, using this situation as a catalyst for a divorce, making OP look mean and uncaring for court. . .
While I don't really agree with the whole mine and yours after marriage, if that's how y'all do things, that's up to you. Extended family, especially in-laws are always difficult to deal with. Good luck!
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Why are you waiting for him to change his mind? Tell him no - period. Remind him of the way she treated you on your one and only visit with her and tell him that you are not going to live like that on a full time basis. The fact that the house is in your name isn't even an issue here. What is an issue is that he thinks he can move people into the house without bothering to make sure that you are ok with it. Then again if he does not have the heart to say no he just might be waiting for you to step up and do it for him. "Sorry, my wife won't let me." is a much easier thing to tell your mother than the truth. Either way it will be a definite fml and f your marriage if you let someone who does not respect you move in.
That's pretty ****** up that your husband wouldn't talk to you first about someone moving in, even if it's family. Hopefully she's not a monster-in-law, right?