Miscellaneous: Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is...

By anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:34 - France

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 16 348

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By embarrassment - 12/06/2009 13:46 - Canada

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 400

You deserved it 8 385

By Nightsong - 30/03/2016 02:54 - Germany - N?rnberg

Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 361

You deserved it 19 458

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 21:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 903

You deserved it 14 927

Randy old bird

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 675

You deserved it 2 772

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 727

You deserved it 5 789

By loser - 31/07/2012 14:21 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 498

You deserved it 2 525

Egg IRL

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 05:01 - United States

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 01:45 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 4 106

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name

By Emily - 17/09/2019 08:00

Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 230

Based surfer dude moment

By Kelly - 26/08/2023 16:00

Today, I was admiring a hot surfer with my friend when he approached us. I was prepared to give him my number but instead he said, “If I was staring at you two in your bikinis the way you two were ogling me, i’d go to jail. I’m old enough to know your dad by the way, have some respect.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 569

chrstygrl06 10

Saturday 5 March 2011 11:56

You asked for it. Parents love to embarrass their children. Zip your mouth next time.

ILoveEggnog 7

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:07

Why would you tell your parents that anyway?

Comments

swimmingcharky 4

Thursday 23 January 2014 4:00

we did that to my teammate when at a restaurant in Alabama. we got them to take a picture together and we've never let her forget about it hahahaga

fantasyworld 37

Monday 17 November 2014 11:40

You don't tell parents anything.

Limelight98 4

Tuesday 25 August 2020 14:44

I know that all too well my mom wrote my number on the receipt 😂

Keywords

Miscellaneous Love My ex Awkward Friends AITA Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Weather Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 376

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 006

You deserved it 3 398

The Top

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 103

You deserved it 11 381

Today, I held my daughter’s fifth birthday at the park. What started as a fun playdate with all her friends turned into a day of horror, when a pair of teenage boys started running around our pavillion, screaming, “Babies come from sex! Babies come from sex!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 141

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 177

You deserved it 3 167

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 668

You deserved it 5 408

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 565

You deserved it 3 876

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 674

You deserved it 4 572