Before circa 1970/1980 is was believed that it was better not to tell a child that he was adopted. So probably OP's mother never told him/her when he/she still lived at home, and after that had trouble finding the right moment for it.

well I guess now u cant feel so bad besides it's 2 late for hard feelings anyway.. fyl indeed but atleast u grew up with a family!! be grateful to that

She may have been ashamed. Some people of that generation were either afraid the children wouldn't be accepted as family or embarrassed that they could not have children of their own. If she was a good mother, forgive her. If you are inclined, it is not too late to search for your biological family. Are you and your sister biologically related? Good luck to both of you.

I didn't know people that old get on FML...is this the new face book?

It'd be interesting to see some more of these mature FMLs. Surely adults have way more ****** up lives than 'us kids'. "Of course we do, and don't call me Shirley"

oh my god!

and how is this an fml?

I agree with 75

ouch

Who would say ydi?!!? U have no knowledge of their background whatsoever

@ 2 - Absolutely agreed. I hate it when the people who go through all the pain, stress, expense and effort of raising a child suddenly get relegated to the back seat when the biological parents waltz back into a person's life (after the hard work is done by somebody else) expecting that the fact that they dumped the kid like a broken tv will not matter because they are the "real" parents. Hate to break it to them, but they are not the parent of that child in any shape or form other than sperm donor or temporary accommodation (womb). And no, I have not adopted kids or had this happen to me but I have seen it happen to a good friend (who was the adopted kid) and it wasn't pretty... All you need from bio parents who adopted you out is medical history, IMO. All else is baggage and headfucks from what I've seen.

true

Yes, the parents that have spent the majority of the childs' life raising them and loving them are important, but the biological parents are also important. A child should know where they come from, they should know about the family that left them behind, and had things been a little different, the family that they would be a part of. None of us know the OPs biological parents' circumstances, so we shouldn't be so quick to assume the worst. If the new guys suck, the kid can get closure, and if not, maybe a rekindling? I know the OP is 45, I'm using the word 'child' and 'kid' relatively.

yeah I agree #2 you really shouldn't care if you were adopted, maybe check for family history of diseases but other than that who cares

What I don't see is the 938 that said the OP deserved it.

Because the OP only found out now

Are you stupid or something? -__-

If OP is 45, then her parents are in their mid to late 60's at best. They could theoretically be dead now. If she was given notice sooner then she had a better chance...

Pure psychology. There are always signs which may raise suspicion of adoption, such as different eye/hair color compared to both parents (I know this is possible with biological children too, but with ~25% probability), some facial feature not found at any parent, neither at the sister, different blood type than both parents, etc... But these tend to be overlooked if the behavior of the parents doesn't raise any suspicion.

how would her death a good thing

I fail to see how the death of a mother is ever a good thing unless she is a deadbeat mom or beats her kids or something. All parents lie. She probably thought it was for the best.

mrmad...what a deuche!

aww, love ya guys too!

You are a prick.

Maybe the mom was delusional/suffering from dementia or something like that? I don't think she should die as MrMaD says she should, but maybe she wasn't fully competent when she said that?

I really want to be able to press thumbs down on you more than once!

that's a good point. I'm only 14 and I have seen my birth certificate when I was going to high school, getting a job, and even going to the doctors. how did you make it 40 plus years without ever seeing it?

Actually, this isn't the case. More states than not have "blind", "double blind", or "closed" adoptions--this essentially means the adoptive parents' names are put on the birth certificate and no actual record of the birth parents' names are on any legal birth certificate. Texas--where I was born, and adopted--is this way. My (adoptive) folks' names are on my birth cert. I have no record at ALL of my sperm & egg donor's names. I believe only 10 or 12 states DON'T do this, currently. It is still the norm.

You're 14 and have a job? I wonder where you live..

creeper.

uhhh yeah I live near Philadelphia but I got an (under the table) job when I was 13

36- Then why'd you need your birth certificate?

No -- adopted people, in 44 states in the US anyway -- are issued a fake birth certificate (called an "amended birth certificate") to make it look like the adoptive parents are the biological parents. So yes, they have a birth certificate, but it's not the original one. That is sealed away in Arizona and in 43 other states.

I got the job first when I was 13 so I didn't need it, but now that I am 14 I am doing it legit-ly... I only threw in the part about being 13 when I first got it because the one person asked where you could get a job at such a young age.

It's possible not to find out

Sometimes the adoptive parent and child look enough alike that they can pass for relatives. My best friend and my cousin are both adopted and they both look like thier adoptive parents.