Animals: Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket....

FML for mobile
Free

By Cathy - 17/01/2012 00:33 - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 797

You deserved it 3 431

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By katams - 26/02/2012 12:28 - United States

Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 5 304

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 274

Pantie thief

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 219

Warming it up

By Erin - 02/01/2021 20:01

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 179

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 397

Tidy your room

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 20:03

Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 448

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 455

You deserved it 4 853

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 353

You deserved it 4 308

Stinky

By mickymoose1 - 19/07/2020 02:02

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 153

Or he's a drug mule?

By jlujan00 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 512

You deserved it 3 060

antart3 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:03

I hope you will keep their litter :)

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Doggy style.

Comments

RadioOctopus 16

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:30

;) does that jacket happen to be a fur coat? haha so cheesy

xwabombwx 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:33

Red rocket, red rocket!!!

julz0125 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:34

Don't ever work in the veterinary field

Belgiangirl_fml 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:41

Gross!! Does he try it when you have it on too?

wildsweetchild 19

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:47

I guess it's your dogs favorite jacket too )))

Jonkbaby 22

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:48

who did you buy your jacket from, Cruella Deville? I mean, weird

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:07

It's so sexy, it makes him jack it.

brianfantana32 10

Wednesday 18 January 2012 6:53

Clever perdix

itstesshomo 2

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:07

*it appears

robc32ca 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:15

If it's your favorite jacket, why do you throw it on the floor?

izzy7 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:28

Try hanging it up instead of tossing it on the floor.

AubreyDucrat 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:55

And that's why you spay and neuter...

julz0125 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:36

I agree...smartest comment yet

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 17 January 2012 15:37

No. My dog is neutered and he still humps everything that moves. He has a favorite blanket that he works it out on.

tsprings 2

Monday 27 August 2012 18:57

A neutered dog will still hump, but won't ejaculate. So, no wet spots if neutered. (: And I agree, smartest comment yet. My first thoughts exactly.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Zoom Job interview Work Money Capitalism My ex Mental health Parents Kids Weird Video games Gamers Music Transportation Cars Friends Racism Cute Relatable Death Divorce AITA Client relations Cops Cheating Renters Love

The Top

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 206

You deserved it 3 378

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 531

You deserved it 15 622

The Top

Today, a student turned in homework she copied off an online answer key. The wrong key. My students are too stupid to cheat right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 852

You deserved it 313

Today, it's been weeks since my teenage kids have walked the dog I got them; they also don’t play with it, pay it any attention, or feed it. It’s all been me, so since I never wanted it in the first place, I gave it to a friend of my mom's. My kids now think I’m the devil and my husband says I overreacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 435

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 268

You deserved it 3 322

Today, I have two options: 1. Use powder deodorant and don't have body odor for at least two days but get a rash, or 2. Use non powder deodorant without aluminium and not get a rash but get body odor the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

Today I found out my university incorrectly calculated my GPA. The threshold for the Ph.D. scholarship was 2.69, and I had a 2.68, so I did not get the scholarship. My new GPA is 3.34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 152

You deserved it 305

Today, not to be "that guy" but my wife quit her job from fear of COVID, we have no kids, so am I really unreasonable to expect that she might do SOME of the housework instead of none of it, and then asking me if I would mind doing the dishes and laundry as soon as I get home? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 124