Animals: Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket....

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By Cathy - 17/01/2012 00:33 - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 797

You deserved it 3 431

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Same thing different taste

By katams - 26/02/2012 12:28 - United States

Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 5 304

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 274

Pantie thief

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 219

Warming it up

By Erin - 02/01/2021 20:01

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 179

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 397

Tidy your room

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 20:03

Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 448

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 455

You deserved it 4 850

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 353

You deserved it 4 308

Stinky

By mickymoose1 - 19/07/2020 02:02

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 153

Or he's a drug mule?

By jlujan00 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 512

You deserved it 3 060

antart3 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:03

I hope you will keep their litter :)

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Doggy style.

Comments

MrMustangg 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:14

I guess it's your dogs favourite jacket too

GoWithTheFro 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:14

Maybe you should get another dog so he's not so lonely ^^

cocodecoeur 12

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:14

Time to get a new jacket!!

MR_RODSQUAD 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:22

Wonder if it would be able to make a new species

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:23

Or a fur coat.

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:39

More like styling gel for the fur coat..

ICATiger 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:23

He needs to express his love for you!

Harpy20 24

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:24

Well at least he understands the use of your morning jacket.

stevenJB 25

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:26

It just means you have amazing taste in clothes :D

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 17 January 2012 15:34

I'm sure it tastes amazing now....

brianfantana32 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:44

That's hot

Angelastic_fml 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:49

Sounds like a pretty bitchin' jacket.

elephantom12 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:50

Cum on, even dogs have to jack-it from time to time.

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:35

Hey hey, don't be cumming to conclusions so quickly.

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Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 103

You deserved it 3 438

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 937

You deserved it 2 523

The Top

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 651

You deserved it 5 201

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 555

You deserved it 4 614

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 4 117

Today, I built a computer with 8 graphics cards that were really expensive. Yeah, they all blew up except the one that cost half the price of the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 569

You deserved it 968

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 067

You deserved it 32 629

Today, my fiancee broke up with me, all because I told her I couldn't install a home security system, fix a camera, and entertain her son in the hour before I went to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 76

Same thing different taste

Good boy

Pantie thief

Warming it up

Tidy your room

Stinky

Or he's a drug mule?

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