Kids: Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she... - FML

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 6 096

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Same thing different taste

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 659

You deserved it 8 849

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 133

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 650

You deserved it 3 131

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 022

You deserved it 224

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 618

You deserved it 6 931

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 000

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 505

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 806

You deserved it 12 124

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 293

Next

Top comments

BriBeHyper 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

What a badass.

RA661 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

Sign 'er up for boxing!

Comments

Wynthos 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 10:20

She probably pushed a boy into the sand box or some other stupid shit.

vsat207 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 10:24

I guess in first grade I totally be the crap out of a girl for making fun of my sister

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 15 September 2011 11:10

Justifiable self-defense? Schools these days don't want to bother figuring out who started a fight, they just go all zero-tolerance and suspend/expel everybody involved. I'd find out the story before doing anything else.

perdix 29

Thursday 15 September 2011 11:34

What's the problem? She's 1-0! Make sure she splits the lunch money she took from her victim with you. After all, you did train this little sociopath.

bettyc4 26

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:15

THIS WAS TOTALLY MY CHILDHOOD!!!!!!!!!!

kmt926 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:17

You should stop giving your child steroids.

Ghostkiller12345 9

Friday 16 September 2011 4:46

You should stop trash talking

texas_redneck88 10

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:53

Good job on raisin' a hoodlum

dancer050 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:58

I did that once....

soccer4life20 9

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:01

Don't make her mad, she might turn on you ;p

RaineLee 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:14

You've got yourself a karate kid, OP :) How cute.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 558

You deserved it 37 794

Today, I was at my usual coffee shop when I overheard a couple at the next table arguing about how to break up. They decided to have a “Breakup Party” and invited everyone around them, including me, right there and then. I ended up eating free cake while watching their weird, messy breakup unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, a very attractive man asked me out on a date, and I said yes. He is tall, charming and a very good kisser. I'm sure the woman he heavily made out with after I left would agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 778

You deserved it 994

Today, I discovered why the toilet seat is often sticky in the morning. My husband is too lazy to lift the seat, instead opting to pee all over it and sleepily wipe it down with loo paper if he notices a splash. He doesn't see why it's a problem since he 'cleans' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 521

You deserved it 780

Today, I'm neck-deep in debt paying for med school. What's worse, the professors here are so terrible that even the morons on Yahoo Answers are 100 times better at explaining my coursework to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 132

You deserved it 1 944

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 398

You deserved it 8 867

Today, I asked my helicopter parent mother if I could go over to a friend's house. She said no because her parents weren't there, and if she accused me of assaulting her, I'd have no defense. We're both 16, I'm gay and she's a lesbian. My mom is well aware of these facts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 157

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 633

You deserved it 6 736