Kids: Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she... - FML

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179

You deserved it 6 096

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 662

You deserved it 8 850

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 135

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 3 132

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 224

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 931

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 007

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 507

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 809

You deserved it 12 124

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 293

Next

Top comments

BriBeHyper 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

What a badass.

RA661 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

Sign 'er up for boxing!

Comments

Wynthos 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 10:20

She probably pushed a boy into the sand box or some other stupid shit.

vsat207 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 10:24

I guess in first grade I totally be the crap out of a girl for making fun of my sister

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 15 September 2011 11:10

Justifiable self-defense? Schools these days don't want to bother figuring out who started a fight, they just go all zero-tolerance and suspend/expel everybody involved. I'd find out the story before doing anything else.

perdix 29

Thursday 15 September 2011 11:34

What's the problem? She's 1-0! Make sure she splits the lunch money she took from her victim with you. After all, you did train this little sociopath.

bettyc4 26

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:15

THIS WAS TOTALLY MY CHILDHOOD!!!!!!!!!!

kmt926 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:17

You should stop giving your child steroids.

Ghostkiller12345 9

Friday 16 September 2011 4:46

You should stop trash talking

texas_redneck88 10

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:53

Good job on raisin' a hoodlum

dancer050 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:58

I did that once....

soccer4life20 9

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:01

Don't make her mad, she might turn on you ;p

RaineLee 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:14

You've got yourself a karate kid, OP :) How cute.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, my mom was pulling up weeds on the terrace while wearing gardening gloves. Why is that worth mentioning? Because that's literally all she was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 105

Today, I finally finished typing up a story I had been working on for about 7 months, saved it on my computer and left to hang with friends. Came home later to find my dad had sold my laptop in order to pay his phone bill. My hard work is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 269

Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 115

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 380

You deserved it 3 975

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 950

You deserved it 45 195

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 932

You deserved it 3 248