Kids: Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she... - FML

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 6 096

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Same thing different taste

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 659

You deserved it 8 849

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 133

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 650

You deserved it 3 131

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 022

You deserved it 224

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 618

You deserved it 6 931

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 000

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 505

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 806

You deserved it 12 124

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 293

Next

Top comments

BriBeHyper 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

What a badass.

RA661 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

Sign 'er up for boxing!

Comments

COCOPUFF3663 0

Friday 16 September 2011 6:26

she's a true thug

speed150mph 2

Friday 16 September 2011 6:26

so? My first school fight was the first day of kindergarten. I got in a fight with a guy who threw my shoes off the boot rack because he wanted the spot. i was taught not to take shit from people and kicked that kids ass. i almost got suspended =D

sgoetzmann 2

Friday 16 September 2011 6:56

KICK A*$ KID!

megaswamp 0

Friday 16 September 2011 7:15

Like a boss

Hald 10

Friday 16 September 2011 7:47

Southpark: "kick the babyyyyyyy...!!!"

lrr11 0

Friday 16 September 2011 10:07

That's pretty bad ass lol

bubo_fml 10

Friday 16 September 2011 22:58

Next time, make book, lay odds, take bets & make $$...Ya gotcha self a ringer there, Momma!!

beekahbeekah 0

Friday 16 September 2011 23:46

That's awesome! Lol

juliarawrawrawr_fml 0

Friday 16 September 2011 23:54

I love your kid! I'm sorry, but that's great. People will learn not to mess with her!

Cooksters101101 3

Friday 16 September 2011 23:55

Time for someone to go to parenting school

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward Racism Love Money My ex Harassment Work Embarrassing Accident AITA Am I overreacting? Religion Relatable Health Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Animals Dogs Relationship advice Cats Cute Transportation Friends Cars Scams

The Top

Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 165

Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 414

The Top

Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 047

You deserved it 32 707

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 346

You deserved it 36 096

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 268

You deserved it 15 138

Today, my mom is threatening to disinherit me because I won’t have a baby. I have three siblings who between them have seven kids for her to obsess over, yet she calls at least once a week and always tries to convince me to get pregnant. Fuck off mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 130

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 5 062

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 337

You deserved it 3 317