Intimacy: Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth...

By Ariel - 02/06/2009 12:19 - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 408

You deserved it 7 767

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Same thing different taste

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 11 071

Planning

By stargate25 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 269

You deserved it 11 968

By tinypenis - 04/06/2013 12:15 - United States - Jamaica

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 71 868

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 309

You deserved it 5 309

By Username - 04/09/2010 13:24 - France

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 161

You deserved it 3 290

By ncjarhead - 24/04/2010 23:38 - United States

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 110

You deserved it 3 123

Familiar

By Looks familiar - 13/08/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my coworker asked me for advice for a clever comeback after she got an unsolicited dick pic. I sent her some zingers to roast the creep into oblivion. Afterward she sent me screenshots. I recognized the mole and birthmark immediately. It was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 105

By for my brother in law - 27/07/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 863

You deserved it 6 771

By Mavis - 03/02/2009 07:54 - Canada

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 210

You deserved it 3 237

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 05:01 - United States

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 315

You deserved it 13 178

Ilovelife07 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:13

damnnn thats rough. forward her a breast enlargement offer

DarthFurby 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:08

Haha ouch. Kind of a bitch way to give you the hint.

Comments

Dogmaw 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 17:53

Damn it. Dude. DAMN. I mean....DUDE! Wow, dude. I mean WOW. Look into it. Keep the lady happy.

WolfgangDS 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 18:22

Tell your wife that those things make your penis longer, but make it ridiculously skinny at the same time. She'll be much less happy with it.

wbrycem 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 22:01

How could the guy deserve having a small penis? Lol. And 27 ftw.

burtonboard97 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 22:40

what the **** #26? where did it say there was a teacher invovled?

monkey314159 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:31

That's when you give her an e-mail with instructions on "how to give a good *******".

daredevil09 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 5:09

what my friends usually say to me which pisses me off "i'd put the boot to her" LOL but seriously thats harsh

Funderful 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 21:21

Send her an Email for breast enhancement.

candii_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:23

thattt suckkss hahahah i agree with #121 :)

ZiggyMorrison 0

Friday 5 June 2009 7:44

this is a Jimmy Carr joke

SumGayGai 0

Friday 5 June 2009 21:53

It's a joke deal with it

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 62

Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 85

The Top

Today, I met the most amazing man ever, we were surrounded by a bunch of pretty women, but he picked me. He was so romantic and sweet, and when we were about 2 weeks into the relationship, I wanted to introduce him to my mom, when I woke up and it was all a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 190

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 754

You deserved it 3 425

Today, I tried to give myself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror at work, just like Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul does. Just as I said, "You got this," someone walked in and gave me a very concerned look. Now I’m the "motivational mirror person" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 285

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 844

You deserved it 3 963

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 3 812

Today, I found out that the vacation my mom has been planning to "repair our relationship" was just an opportunity to change her Facebook profile picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 559

You deserved it 2 733

Same thing different taste

Planning

Familiar

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