Intimacy: Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth...

By Ariel - 02/06/2009 12:19 - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 403

You deserved it 7 766

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 497

You deserved it 11 071

Planning

By stargate25 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 257

You deserved it 11 955

By tinypenis - 04/06/2013 12:15 - United States - Jamaica

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 817

You deserved it 71 858

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 303

You deserved it 5 307

By Username - 04/09/2010 13:24 - France

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 160

You deserved it 3 289

By ncjarhead - 24/04/2010 23:38 - United States

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 107

You deserved it 3 123

Familiar

By Looks familiar - 13/08/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my coworker asked me for advice for a clever comeback after she got an unsolicited dick pic. I sent her some zingers to roast the creep into oblivion. Afterward she sent me screenshots. I recognized the mole and birthmark immediately. It was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 80

By for my brother in law - 27/07/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 862

You deserved it 6 770

By Mavis - 03/02/2009 07:54 - Canada

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 206

You deserved it 3 236

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 05:01 - United States

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 308

You deserved it 13 178

Ilovelife07 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:13

damnnn thats rough. forward her a breast enlargement offer

DarthFurby 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:08

Haha ouch. Kind of a bitch way to give you the hint.

Comments

Dogmaw 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 17:53

Damn it. Dude. DAMN. I mean....DUDE! Wow, dude. I mean WOW. Look into it. Keep the lady happy.

WolfgangDS 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 18:22

Tell your wife that those things make your penis longer, but make it ridiculously skinny at the same time. She'll be much less happy with it.

wbrycem 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 22:01

How could the guy deserve having a small penis? Lol. And 27 ftw.

burtonboard97 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 22:40

what the **** #26? where did it say there was a teacher invovled?

monkey314159 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:31

That's when you give her an e-mail with instructions on "how to give a good *******".

daredevil09 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 5:09

what my friends usually say to me which pisses me off "i'd put the boot to her" LOL but seriously thats harsh

Funderful 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 21:21

Send her an Email for breast enhancement.

candii_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:23

thattt suckkss hahahah i agree with #121 :)

ZiggyMorrison 0

Friday 5 June 2009 7:44

this is a Jimmy Carr joke

SumGayGai 0

Friday 5 June 2009 21:53

It's a joke deal with it

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Love AITA Sex Divorce Awkward Relatable Dreams Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Cute Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Animals Harassment Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food Texting My ex

The Top

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 926

You deserved it 3 628

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 754

You deserved it 37 492

The Top

Today, my best friend told me she thinks my fiancé might be gay, because he won't cheat on me with her, like all my past boyfriends did. I'm sorry? My past boyfriends did WHAT with WHO? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 148

Today, my son sent me a very frank text telling me my husband is no longer welcome at his house, because, “He knows what he did, if you want to know then ask him.” This isn’t going to be good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 154

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 901

You deserved it 4 914

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 480

You deserved it 4 355

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 493

You deserved it 281

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 73

Same thing different taste

Planning

Familiar

Top comments

Comments