Miscellaneous: Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out...

By satanlovesme - 30/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 849

You deserved it 8 351

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 003

You deserved it 1 877

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 2 297

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 830

You deserved it 9 929

Take what you can get

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 164

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 8 150

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 45 740

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 539

You deserved it 3 085

Foot meet mouth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 458

You deserved it 7 828

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 2 729

SP63_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:45

Ugh. I was raised Christian, and always will be, but these kind of people are what gives Christians the names they have. Wouldn't it be great if there was a world where people could co-exist, and go about as they wish? I know many Athiests, Muslims, and even a few Buddhists. They're all nice people, I could care less about who they worship, or if they do at all. But then again, I've been excommunicated from my church, supposedly for these reasons. Oh well, who cares, I refuse to join a church that discriminates.

NoMercy_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:39

LOL. I didn't know Satan had a manual.

Comments

comadank 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:07

ppl like that piss me off and yes i am a chriatian but really some ppl are so far from the world they wont watch tv or listen to the radio since it's agenst god or so they think if you can't understand other religons you have issues spend a moment in someone elses shoes and see how it is in there sheltered world they live in

AmpulexCompressa 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:15

**** her life because she's wasting it prostyletizing people for her false beliefs.

lawlkat 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:17

Let me reiterate what I said just above real fast... For all of you people who think religion is such a horrible brain washing tool should stop being such bigoted, intolerant hypocrites that you call them.

kandi_shop_xoxo 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:17

First off, to all of you who are talking crap on religious people, I would rather believe in something that gives me hope, than something that gives me no hope what-so-ever. Annnnnd, to the OP... this is just stupid. Who cares if some crazy lady said that to you? On my college campus we have crazy people like that all the time condemning everyone. Nobody cares. But I believe in God, and I don't care if any of you judge me for it. :)

kandi_shop_xoxo 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:22

Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu Melech haolam hamotzi lechem meen haaretz. (Blessed are you Oh! Lord our God, King of the universe who brings forth bread from the Earth) :o)

ohsnapelenaaa 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:43

Not FML worthy.

ShenziSixaxis 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:45

O_o Whoa... how strange.

xNatsuki 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:47

Should have said "Oh, you said bitch. So now you're going to my bitch when I'm down there being his bitch, bitch. "

DarkMirror 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:50

Not really FML worthy. Just go and watch The Mist. It gives hope that intolerant, fanatical nutjobs get what's coming to them in the end xD

FMLwrestler 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:55

aha ok im #37 for all you people just so you know, and ok ok maybe some people are retarded and hypocritical. I get that. Hell, even the atheists are being hypocritical. Everybody is at times! Even me sometimes. Soo whatever I commented to say that #155 ******* is the ******* MAN. haha thats awesome