Today, I had a dream that I had to abandon my shopping at the...

By abbiexo97 - 09/05/2019 14:00

Today, I had a dream that I had to abandon my shopping at the checkout due to lack of funds. Even in my dreams I don’t have any money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 160

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Guilt

By subconscious karen - 23/05/2021 17:01

Today, I had a nightmare in which I murdered a store employee because the store wasn’t selling the item I wanted. I would never do that in real life, and now I feel extremely guilty for how I acted in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 193

By TheLostCauseFML - 31/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Quitman

Today, I'm so broke that I had a money nightmare. I'd accidentally purchased a single potato for exactly $22 and it was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 697

You deserved it 464

By amy - 20/07/2019 02:09

Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 16:33 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 707

You deserved it 11 002

By boring - 10/05/2010 10:14 - New Zealand

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 738

You deserved it 7 968

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 154

Classic

By Dylan - 15/10/2023 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy just one item - a single, ripe avocado. After spending way too long choosing the perfect one, I got to the checkout counter. I'd left my wallet at home. I had to abandon my poor avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 551

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 16:04 - United States

Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 578

You deserved it 5 932

By Anonymous - 18/09/2014 15:38 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 441

You deserved it 5 247

By fleur_de_fevrier - 21/12/2008 15:36 - Ireland

Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 24 152

Kristoffer 35

Thursday 9 May 2019 19:07

Your dreams are often a reflection of your waking concerns.

childlessmother 16

Thursday 9 May 2019 20:21

Try it in real life with a crying hungry toddler in tow and then tell me of your fml

Comments

Kristoffer 35

Thursday 9 May 2019 19:07

Your dreams are often a reflection of your waking concerns.

childlessmother 16

Thursday 9 May 2019 20:21

Try it in real life with a crying hungry toddler in tow and then tell me of your fml

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 May 2019 22:07

Become a sugar baby. Maybe some high-school teacher will shower you with cash and historical “fun facts.”

Sonotsuave 35

Friday 10 May 2019 6:26

I’m sorry this made me laugh aloud because it’s relatable. I used my card today unsure of how much I actually had in my account.

Keywords

Neighbours Miscellaneous Awkward Wanker Halloween Lonely Party Love Jealousy Argument Family Fight Cats Animals Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs AITA Work

The Top

Today, I called out "for personal reasons" from work because I had to study for a major test that's taking place tomorrow. An hour later, my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously." I then got an email telling me that the test was being postponed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 4 093

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 429

You deserved it 3 084

The Top

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 933

You deserved it 6 042

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 095

You deserved it 2 864

Today, I was in a car with my housemate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 049

You deserved it 3 962

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 775

You deserved it 2 989

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up at 2am to find my desk on fire. Thinking I'd forgotten a lit candle, I threw water to extinguish the flames. It turns out it was the reflection of the streetlight through the window. My laptop is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 037

You deserved it 5 238

Today, I found out my mother would rather sleep than attend my soccer games, volleyball tournaments, or see me win any awards. However, she was present to see the dog get potty trained, filming the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 110

Same thing different taste

Guilt

You sleep in your pants?

Classic

Top comments

Comments