Intimacy: Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled...

By Smooth - 11/04/2009 07:38 - United States

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 364

You deserved it 112 411

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By e - 02/12/2010 09:24 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 455

You deserved it 4 336

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 20:53 - United States - International Falls

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 387

You deserved it 2 044

By anonymous - 17/01/2017 20:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 407

You deserved it 1 878

By anonymous - 22/12/2017 15:00

Today, I took the bus home after visiting a friend. Standing in front of my house, I realized that I had forgotten my keys. They were still in my car, which I had parked at my friend's place and forgotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 3 479

Never forget

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 09:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 374

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 309

You deserved it 37 455

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 6 036

Stuck

By crap - 19/06/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 44 899

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 630

You deserved it 3 138

Stuck

By Forgetfull - 02/02/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 748

You deserved it 26 625

Wandering_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 19:57

Sucks for you. YDI for just leaving like that.

manoverboard 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 19:58

ROTFL. That's what you gettt. Karma much?

Comments

Remegy 3

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:27

love your username...

route95 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:34

YDI for not being straightforward with her. Then you could have left with ease and without looking like an asshole.

sweetiepie6090 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:33

well you're a bit of a tool aren't you?

STN_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:40

YDI

soseductive 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:44

hahahaha. was it that bad? you could have atleast left a note that had the website to a pornsite, so maybe she could get some lessons. great going.

xerbrus 14

Thursday 6 February 2014 23:53

**** is meant to look aesthetically pleasing the techniques they used doesn't actually stimulate well which is why they are always overflowing with such great acting

xClarkGable 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:41

YDI for hooking up with people.

MaiLouIsLegend 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:53

Hahah Looks like karma's on her side this time buddy.

efftthhiiss 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:53

and are we being serious with the ydi for hooking up with people? everyone does it. get over yourself. your probably some lame guy who cant get a girl or some bitter **** who this happens to all the time.

efftthhiiss 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:51

seriously people? plenty of people want to bail after a drunken hookup to avoid the awkward next morning. happens all the time. doesn't mean it was bad or that hes a complete prick. but it is your own fault for not making sure you had all your shit before leaving.

breaksprinter_ 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 20:54

did she wake up when you had to get your keys? i don't see this as a fyl, but more of a fhl, especially if she woke up when you had to get your keys. because that's just cold.