Intimacy: Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled...

By Smooth - 11/04/2009 07:38 - United States

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 364

You deserved it 112 411

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Same thing different taste

By e - 02/12/2010 09:24 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 455

You deserved it 4 336

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 20:53 - United States - International Falls

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 387

You deserved it 2 044

By anonymous - 17/01/2017 20:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 407

You deserved it 1 878

By anonymous - 22/12/2017 15:00

Today, I took the bus home after visiting a friend. Standing in front of my house, I realized that I had forgotten my keys. They were still in my car, which I had parked at my friend's place and forgotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 3 479

Never forget

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 09:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 374

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 309

You deserved it 37 455

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 6 036

Stuck

By crap - 19/06/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 44 899

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 630

You deserved it 3 138

Stuck

By Forgetfull - 02/02/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 748

You deserved it 26 625

Wandering_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 19:57

Sucks for you. YDI for just leaving like that.

manoverboard 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 19:58

ROTFL. That's what you gettt. Karma much?

Comments

itsstevie 0

Monday 11 May 2009 20:34

Jerk. Girls wake up crying all the time because of one night stand bullshit like that.

pinkpolkadotsxp 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 22:45

wooowww.. JERK. hope that chick kicked ur ass.

kwinters 5

Wednesday 27 May 2009 8:41

this sounds EXACTLY lke the scene from The Last Kiss... a bit suss IMO, but if this truly happened to you, a dick move on your part, YDI

crabbyabby193 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:12

omigod that suxx ass man

AmericansAreDumb 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 15:48

What do females expect after having sex with someone? An instant house in the suburbs, a white picket fence? Leave the guy alone... the only idiotic part on his behalf was forgetting his keys. Dumbo.

JustStayHome 0

Friday 7 August 2009 5:35

YDI for hitting it and quitting it. Bastard. At least leave a note or something, geez.

Didisco 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 19:02

Point flip!

nigguhbrooke 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:43

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

smashgrab 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 10:16

I have morals and values too, but if I hook up with somebody and it turns out to be terrible sex, or she starts saying crazy crap like "I love you" on the first night, Im going to bail as soon as I can!