Miscellaneous: Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 37 756

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 13 508

By kaynotentirelywrong - 15/08/2013 16:49 - Canada - Repentigny

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 203

You deserved it 13 353

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 761

You deserved it 1 184

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 06:00

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 307

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 956

By Mystery LeRale - 15/01/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 540

You deserved it 8 457

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 03:25 - France

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 13 892

By AlexK - 18/06/2009 23:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 172

You deserved it 65 380

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 000

You deserved it 12 077

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 656

You deserved it 7 400

Next

Top comments

TheGuyOverThere 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:34

Time you enjoy wasting cannot truly be called wasted ;-)

Malika_fml 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:40

how is that an FML?? I'll make a penis out of silly putty any time!!!!

Comments

aaaaa2p 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:06

More of an MLIA tbh.

lets0wnya 4

Monday 16 November 2009 4:13

so? I would epically spend a day making a life size realistic one with hair and veins and shit it's called fun

k43L1 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:28

i would have rather spent the day having fun with a real dick. i guess the OP isn't getting any?

macgruberiscool 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:16

lol funny it's not really that bad

SliceOfVanilla 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:39

This belongs on MLIA!

bibbit 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:42

lmao that's awesome

greenfairy_fml 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:45

ya, um, this is not an FML...

Avenging_Angel 0

Monday 16 November 2009 5:08

I find it amusing that there are 69 comments on this FML, at least according to my iPod

ScaryyMary 14

Monday 16 November 2009 5:09

Well... at least you know what a penis looks like. There's one aspect of your life that isn't ******. Actually... that WOULD be ******, in the literal sense of the word! Oi... my brain is confused...

avfcfan89 0

Monday 16 November 2009 5:12

wow, your a complete tool.

flgirlwguitar 2

Monday 16 November 2009 5:18

Can we get another category to vote on, maybe "Funny but not so bad?" Seriously. It's not YDI or FYL.

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Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 511

You deserved it 84 244

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 832

The Top

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 231

You deserved it 3 126

Today, my partner and I took his daughter to a museum. "I want to see the dead people!" is all she said the whole journey there. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 017

You deserved it 880

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 386

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 167

You deserved it 5 217

Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 367

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 32