Miscellaneous: Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They...

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

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Same thing different taste

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 914

You deserved it 4 878

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 082

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 228

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 99

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 151

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 986

You deserved it 393

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 859

You deserved it 4 614

By DrunkParents - 31/03/2015 23:32 - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 2 728

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 235

You deserved it 5 383

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 2 766

genesisnirvana 11

Monday 4 July 2011 12:01

your parents are a win.

Andrewlostnow 3

Monday 4 July 2011 12:04

your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow

Comments

Feedmyaddiction5 14

Monday 4 July 2011 14:34

hey at least they didn't drive drunk

MsSoulReaper 27

Monday 4 July 2011 15:00

What's the problem here? At least they're not humping each other in the back seat while they barked.

laduf 5

Monday 4 July 2011 15:15

that's just ridiculous.

heavymetalman1 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:25

Did your mom meow?

prince122 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:26

close the window?'

LittleIrishGirl 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:29

Ahhh parents got to love em

HahaYDI 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:30

They actually just have rabies.

teresa96706 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:51

There are no rabies on the Hawaiian Islands.

morganxangela 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:33

You have cool parents(:

smileyysss 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:57

wooah. those right there, are quality parents(:

freeagent678 0

Monday 4 July 2011 16:00

that's embarrassing...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 6 768

Today, someone called me a bitch, all because I refused to sell him lottery tickets at 3 a.m. My state prohibits sales after 10 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 78

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went back to Germany. He lovingly said to me, "I will never find another girl like you. Unless I rip off her leg and tear out her eye." I’m an amputee, and was born with a blind eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 762

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 561

You deserved it 4 081

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 394

You deserved it 3 864

Today, after dealing with a monstrously painful canker sore for the last two weeks, it finally healed up. I was so relieved that I went out to lunch… and immediately stabbed myself in the gums with a tortilla chip. FML