Miscellaneous: Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They...

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

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Same thing different taste

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 914

You deserved it 4 878

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 082

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 228

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 99

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 151

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 986

You deserved it 393

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 859

You deserved it 4 614

By DrunkParents - 31/03/2015 23:32 - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 2 728

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 235

You deserved it 5 383

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 2 766

genesisnirvana 11

Monday 4 July 2011 12:01

your parents are a win.

Andrewlostnow 3

Monday 4 July 2011 12:04

your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow

Comments

MyKeyy 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:23

#SWAG

Garyy_fml 11

Monday 4 July 2011 17:39

why would you use a hashtag on FML?

blackvyper 8

Monday 4 July 2011 12:26

You better hope that kind of fun is genetic.

Tess_fml 7

Monday 4 July 2011 12:27

Sounds like a fun time to me! and LOL @ 3

YurLyfeSucks 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:30

Just watch, a video of this will be the next viral vid on YouTube.

warsha 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:30

Dammit... you had to bark back at them! that would back them off!!

sirdolittle 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:31

You live in Hawaii, your life can't suck ! *jealous*

808Boyo 4

Monday 4 July 2011 13:02

haha Hawaii is the shit...lived here my whole life and still growin in the 808 State!

teresa96706 29

Monday 4 July 2011 20:40

lol I thought I was one of the only people that live in Hawaii (other than my friends) that read FML.

lovepebbles 1

Monday 4 July 2011 13:03

thats totally something i would do ...

Person1233 12

Monday 4 July 2011 19:48

Get drunk or just the barking part? Because I don't think 12 year olds should drink. Hell, most adults can't handle alcohol.

chelseaaababyyy 17

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:25

god, i hope she doesnt mean drink. kids start that shit way too early. save it for college.

NomadicFlo 4

Monday 4 July 2011 13:21

......and then you say your grandma only has one dog....

rattusrattus 18

Monday 4 July 2011 13:22

Look, look, you're missing the whole point. Now you have... BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!!!

DocBastard 38

Monday 4 July 2011 13:33

They sound like party animals.

smurfsarwales 9

Monday 4 July 2011 14:28

ur first comment that has under a million likes... you're losing your touch doc.

MsSoulReaper 27

Monday 4 July 2011 14:58

Not everyone can be on top for long. I say it's hard to come up with awesome comments that everyone will love.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 489

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, I was wrapping up a 30+ hour commission when a software bug caused my main layer to delete itself. There doesn't appear to be any way I can restore it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 479

You deserved it 343

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 559

You deserved it 52 900

Today, my fiance of 6 years who was estranged for 10 months during which time our wedding was naturally called off, he came back, and after much convincing got a second chance. Within two weeks of taking it slow, he asked if I had been faithful after he'd abandoned me. A "yes" wasn't enough. He's disappeared again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 297

Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 2 176

Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 448

You deserved it 3 528