Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to...

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 18:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 943

You deserved it 3 935

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 914

You deserved it 7 112

"Pooping and Shit"

By everybodypoops - 02/08/2017 20:00

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 882

You deserved it 547

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 724

By Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 633

You deserved it 44 313

By King_of_hearts - 04/04/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 649

You deserved it 4 835

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 975

You deserved it 14 358

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 614

You deserved it 4 741

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 175

You deserved it 34 737

Live dumping

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 118

Vibrate mode

By ChiefKoala - 27/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Rockwood

Today, my stomach growled so loudly in class that my professor told us to make sure our phones were silenced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 223

DocBastard 38

Monday 10 January 2011 0:21

That IS inappropriate! He could also be composing an opera, checking his stocks, clipping his toenails, and masturbating at the same time! What a colossal waste of time.

marleyvk 0

Monday 10 January 2011 0:12

Why's that so bad? I do it all the time. It's called multi-tasking.

Comments

Tanya33 1

Monday 10 January 2011 0:38

Ew.

UpsidedownKayak 9

Monday 10 January 2011 0:53

I hope you hung up, then called that person back and explained their lack of manners. To reprimand some one while they are eating, ********, and listening to music is just rude.

sallen0046 4

Monday 10 January 2011 0:55

You did not have to do any such thing. It's really none of your business what other people do while they're on the phone. If you don't care for it, hang up. It's really just that simple.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 10 January 2011 4:00

It is if you're on the other end of the conversation. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was eating while talking? It gets worse when you find out they're ******** as well. That's just gross

ninja_ness 3

Monday 10 January 2011 0:59

I'm sorry but, why is this an FML?? :/

UpsidedownKayak 9

Monday 10 January 2011 1:06

Because (munch munch munch) it sucks (uuuuggghhhhh) *slashes* HAVING TO (munch munch munch) SHOUT OVER MUSIC (munch munch munch) WHILE ON THE PHONE! What? Can you hear me now? Damn, mods got to it already.