Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to...

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 18:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 943

You deserved it 3 935

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Same thing different taste

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 914

You deserved it 7 112

"Pooping and Shit"

By everybodypoops - 02/08/2017 20:00

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 882

You deserved it 547

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 724

By Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 633

You deserved it 44 313

By King_of_hearts - 04/04/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 649

You deserved it 4 835

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 975

You deserved it 14 358

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 614

You deserved it 4 741

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 175

You deserved it 34 737

Live dumping

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 118

Vibrate mode

By ChiefKoala - 27/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Rockwood

Today, my stomach growled so loudly in class that my professor told us to make sure our phones were silenced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 223

DocBastard 38

Monday 10 January 2011 0:21

That IS inappropriate! He could also be composing an opera, checking his stocks, clipping his toenails, and masturbating at the same time! What a colossal waste of time.

marleyvk 0

Monday 10 January 2011 0:12

Why's that so bad? I do it all the time. It's called multi-tasking.

Comments

maybaybe 0

Monday 10 January 2011 3:13

Get a new friend.

nkor1337 1

Monday 10 January 2011 4:48

let's pork

LolYouGotOwned 0

Monday 10 January 2011 3:32

someone sounds like an abusive bitch...

MunChiChi 0

Monday 10 January 2011 3:57

iTake ***** On Da Phne All Da Time. But Eatting &Nd ********...Is Supa Gross!!

mrahhhhh 21

Monday 10 January 2011 4:01

People, that statement is why relatives shouldn't breed.

Cass3m0 0

Monday 10 January 2011 4:03

44 is correct.

iluvfmls456 0

Monday 10 January 2011 3:58

I agree. That's just rude not to mention gross

fiveonefiveoh 0

Monday 10 January 2011 12:28

rude to who?? like the person on the other end is experiencing the situation??

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Monday 10 January 2011 4:04

There is NOTHING wrong with eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit at the same time as talking on the phone. If you think otherwise you've got problems!

UpsidedownKayak 9

Monday 10 January 2011 4:45

The people with that opinion are the minority, why is that? Could it be that you are wrong? I think so.

JManHobbs 0

Monday 10 January 2011 4:07

Why is it gross? I mean anyone who gets shit on their hands while on the toilet (perhaps you guys do) probably shouldn't be eating while ******** but those of us who manage to remain clean shouldn't be deprived of the experience. Also, as long as you aren't in the habit of making a lot of noise while ******** (again, maybe you two do) then being on the phone shouldn't be a problem either.