Animals: Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained...

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 26 213

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 817

You deserved it 54 641

By Lee - 10/04/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 930

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 988

By Anonymous - 14/09/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 242

You deserved it 5 506

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 5 478

By Kirta - 09/11/2009 15:18 - Canada

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 419

You deserved it 38 105

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

By Anonymous - 17/10/2012 20:08 - United States - Hobart

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 144

You deserved it 1 900

By Anonymous - 12/09/2013 05:18 - United States

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 933

You deserved it 7 049

teehee520 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 22:28

That's nasty.

lifeislife_fml 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 21:24

#60: Only the "Today" and "FML" parts are necessary. I doubt editors would go around inserting pointless words. And if it was added for consistency, all the FMLs would say "proceeded to [insert a ton of verbs that could be replaced with one verb]". That would suck.

Comments

skierguy 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 1:53

You deserve it for having a dog. Easy solution... get rid of the dog. Your neighbours will thank you for it.

Yulia_fml 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:03

It's not the grammar awkwardness of "proceeded" that bothers me. It's how much it's overused! Annoying as hell.

jj732 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:16

you tried WAYYYY too hard to sound smart. seriously wouldnt it be easier and quicker to write: Today, I had to use the weedwacker to mow my lawn since my mower is broken, and accidentally mowed weedwacked my dogs poop. It flung into my face. FML failure....

DaMiz511 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:23

If the grass clippings weren't hitting you in the face, then the poop wouldn't either. Fake.

TheZephyrSon 3

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:32

Weed whackers...Not the best thing to lose concentration with...Be glad it wasn't your foot...js...

lifeislife_fml 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:37

STOP WITH THE "proceeded to".

Casualt1234 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 3:15

Thank you #3. God I am starting to think that putting the word "proceeded" is the only way an FML "proceeds" to get posted. It just annoys me because I know from experience that writing "helps to convey" -type phrases in my essays always costs me points. Please. Stop. It. Is. Annoying.

ssnickel 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 3:25

I guess #3 got moderated but I'm assuming they were the first to mention how annoying it is to see every single FML containing the word "proceeded." I completely agree, #50. I'm so sick of that word.

rabidhatter 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 3:31

Either this is fake or you totally deserve it for being a complete moron and running the weed whacker with the guard off. You're lucky it was dog shit and not a small rock. Whole 'nother FML there.