Work: Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service"...

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By niiiiiiiiiikki - 08/01/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 524

You deserved it 2 497

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Same thing different taste

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 451

You deserved it 3 361

By xricardo - 05/06/2010 00:52 - United States

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 010

You deserved it 26 385

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 981

You deserved it 4 047

Wobble wobble

By Dr.Octopus454 - 07/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 154

You deserved it 3 629

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 289

You deserved it 3 924

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 151

You deserved it 3 009

By Men '86 - 24/07/2011 06:41 - Canada

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 023

You deserved it 39 337

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 895

You deserved it 2 327

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 032

You deserved it 32 539

DocBastard 38

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:50

I see you don't have a "No pants, no service" policy. Fascinating.

alwa7sh 2

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:15

it's probably stevo filming jackass 4

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:14

You should have served him, made him dance then posted the security tape.

rockefoe 6

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:18

at least he's still got it! ;)

heather_bunny 3

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:24

Who would be walking around in the wintertime in a speedo in kansas?? I can imagine that happening in California, however...

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 9 January 2011 4:15

But according to 2Pac, California, knows how to party!(:

xxShinobi 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:51

Cold? In California? You've obviously never been to Alberta lately.

Kukua 5

Sunday 9 January 2011 13:33

Totally. We're in the middle of a snowstorm here.

RosiePatosie 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 4:15

Feel sorry for his relatives hahah

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 9 January 2011 4:21

Do you wear it backwards so you have a place to put your wallet?

lil_lala209 5

Sunday 9 January 2011 5:41

that sounds like a party! lmfao FYL...

2under2mom 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 5:55

Well, I was at the gas station today and a woman walked in wearing no pants or underwear...my boyfriend took a picture.

pontiacc 0

Monday 10 January 2011 1:10

isnt this an FML itself?

IMA_CoolCat 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 6:17

Pants on the ground~ pants on the ground~ looking like a foo wit yo pants on the ground~ :P

carpediemryders 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 6:20

I find this a little hard to believe being that you live in Kansas, at this time of year and as cold as it has been there, my sister lives there... nice try OP