Health: Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard...

By Stuck - 08/09/2011 10:00 - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 338

You deserved it 67 816

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 007

You deserved it 3 594

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 4 466

Hole in one

By Anonymous - 24/04/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 102

By Beaky - 12/10/2011 05:09 - Canada

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 107

You deserved it 50 020

By KnuckleSandwich - 20/07/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 665

You deserved it 3 753

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 29 705

By meh - 04/01/2010 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 6 528

For science

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 835

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 23:23 - United States

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 865

You deserved it 4 905

By Sophie - 17/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 949

You deserved it 3 739

marinus_fml 19

Thursday 8 September 2011 15:55

You need to brighten up a little.

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Thursday 8 September 2011 17:39

Am I the only on who wants to test this now? Anyone? I guess it's just me then..

Comments

kitsune3 20

Thursday 6 October 2011 4:21

Curiosity can be very dangerous....

hateevryone 14

Friday 7 October 2011 19:47

you just had to try something that you saw on tv. dumbass.

Kiwii_kat 1

Monday 17 October 2011 2:39

I'm seriously trying not to do this right now...

scarlettblondii 7

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:49

"oh a lightbulb...obviously i should put this in my mouth..." seriously bro?

King4aDay 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 6:53

aww shit. you can't just put that out there in am fml! now more people are gonna try and end up in hospitals.

tHEkAYjAy 0

Monday 5 December 2011 3:52

What else can you fit in your mouth?

charlielara 4

Friday 24 February 2012 8:33

I probably shouldn't be telling you this what with your track record but it also works with snooker balls

m16agent 3

Tuesday 6 March 2012 19:51

What have we learned?

Janawa 22

Monday 19 March 2012 3:09

I have got to try this out now! I come from a family where every fact we find, we must test, sooo.... Thanks! :)

springywdcc 2

Thursday 19 April 2012 14:56

If you can't get it in without doctors you can get it out without doctors... Just saying

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 076

You deserved it 410

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, since my most recent breakup, I haven’t had sex in almost a year but I’m too afraid to just jump on Tinder for a hookup, because I had to move back into my parents' spare room, and I can’t be bringing a woman back for sex on a fold-out futon with mom and dad in the next bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 402

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 108

You deserved it 3 883

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 056

You deserved it 7 066

Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 402

You deserved it 7 087

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237

You deserved it 2 164

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 748

You deserved it 26 627

Same thing different taste

Hole in one

For science

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