Miscellaneous: Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he...

By tsukinoie - 02/02/2014 06:33 - United States

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 632

You deserved it 6 868

The rhythm of the fight
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Hello, is me you're looking for?

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 07:24 - United Kingdom - Woodford Green

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 3 160

By Evalynne - 06/04/2013 12:55 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 829

You deserved it 21 861

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 4 161

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 03:23 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 788

You deserved it 17 569

By heart of cold - 11/01/2016 09:12 - United States

Today, my roommate invited a couple of homeless gentlemen in to our house. After drinking all our beer, throwing up on our carpet, and repeatedly asking if we were planning on killing them, I asked them to leave. My roommate told them they're welcome back anytime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 125

You deserved it 2 047

By ohtheirony - 22/09/2014 01:27

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 748

You deserved it 2 791

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 23 401

By Sally - 31/10/2018 22:00 - United States

Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 827

You deserved it 1 324

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 455

You deserved it 4 364

By Username - 23/01/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, my best friend came over for dinner and a movie. Moments after arriving, she spent an hour on the phone, and ended up accepting another invitation before leaving. I guess it's dinner for one tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 261

You deserved it 2 614

Nolimit2217 32

Sunday 2 February 2014 16:23

Is your friend Charlie Sheen?!

myusername83 10

Sunday 2 February 2014 16:23

Well at least you get to spend quality time with him still...with hookers

Comments

pandalover69 26

Sunday 2 February 2014 20:54

Kick him out now! Trust me you don't need a loser like that staying with you. My boyfriend let a friend stay on his couch last year for what was suppose to be 2 weeks, it turned in to 4 months and his "friend" had to be rescued from a strip club more then once. He also brought questionable women around all the time.

noreia 14

Sunday 2 February 2014 21:43

kick his sorry ass out and learn your lesson... if a guy asks you something answer it very clearly - no matter how much of a joke the question seems to you...

Lustuu_fml 14

Sunday 2 February 2014 22:01

I guess he's more like a Chuck Bass than a Charlie Sheen then!

tsukinoie 11

Sunday 2 February 2014 22:09

I am a woman and bisexual, those two points being said this hooker was the most ugly she-thing I have ever seen. He decided he would stay with a dude friend who understands his urges....

Priyaroshni 40

Sunday 2 February 2014 22:45

A very good idea. Thank you for following up. Dare I ask, where did your friend propose to complete the transaction? On the couch or borrow your bedroom?