Love: Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my...

By BirthdayBoy - 25/09/2009 14:54 - United States

Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 952

You deserved it 7 322

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Same thing different taste

By TheAngryBird - 28/06/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 413

You deserved it 2 716

Happy?

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 691

You deserved it 6 828

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 180

You deserved it 2 634

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 095

You deserved it 3 398

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 367

You deserved it 4 273

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 565

By holla1787 - 04/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 545

You deserved it 2 820

By Nick - 08/07/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 469

You deserved it 11 764

Threesome

By tkdbb11790 - 20/11/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 5 011

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 082

You deserved it 51 313

Poke_my_mon 0

Friday 25 September 2009 19:38

No Birthday sex? Aww buddy I feel so bad for you. Excuse me while I go have sex with my girlfriend.

Wdgames 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 17:48

I bet the Afro is involved in some kinky games, right?

Comments

oops_im_fucked 8

Sunday 21 August 2011 11:30

Tile to do the "whole dick in the box" thing for Her birthday.

GoneClubbin 9

Tuesday 4 October 2011 6:47

Well I wouldn't think of a 2 year relationship as a ”wrapped present” but as more of an ”unwrapped present”

insanelyXnikki 18

Monday 16 January 2012 10:32

Well I guess that's her own decision but why does she have to do that on your birthday? FYL

newmandotcom 6

Friday 16 March 2012 18:12

Ydi

gnattine 11

Thursday 30 August 2012 11:37

Good for her!

cwl727 32

Saturday 29 March 2014 1:15

Propose.

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Good morning guys! Today's interview has been done in some extreme circumstances. It was about 36° Celsius, and half of the Completely Serious Comics crew was working while the other one was cooking. Well, it was a bit crazy as you can imagine. So m...

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 17

The Top

Today, some friends and I went to Cosmic Bowling where they have a blacklight. Everyone's teeth were glowing. Mine weren't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 978

You deserved it 40 508

Today, I lost my phone while at the store with my mom. She decided to call it, and that's when I remembered that my ringtone for her is the song "Mother" by The Police. The weirded-out stares I got as I picked up my phone have become a core memory that I absolutely did not want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 336

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 41 865

Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 105

Today, I finally matched with someone on Tinder after using it for a month. I sent a message and they unmatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 131

You deserved it 1 227

Today, my mother once again brought up how I would have done so much better in my Track season if I just smiled while I ran. Apparently, if you just smile, your brain won't know you're in pain. I don't think it works like that, but thanks for the advice mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 653

You deserved it 1 048

Same thing different taste

Happy?

Threesome

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