Animals: Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the...

By lessinterestingthanadog - 08/11/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 3 813

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Same thing different taste

By hannamacintosh - 28/06/2016 17:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 736

You deserved it 1 591

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 559

You deserved it 5 915

Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 686

You deserved it 9 290

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 21:18 - Argentina

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 597

You deserved it 3 297

Social gatherings make me nervous

By Dog lady - 27/10/2024 18:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 193

Et tu, Doggo?

By fml9124 - 05/09/2019 20:00

Today, as usual, my neighbor's 9 year-old son came over after school. I work from home so he stays until his mom gets home. My dog mopes around the house until 3 p.m., then gets all excited because he has a friend to play with. I'm almost jealous because a dog I've had for 11 years likes him more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 397

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 244

Good boy

By doggylove - 13/11/2015 03:57 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 625

You deserved it 2 225

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 695

You deserved it 4 910

Spy vs. Spy

By bumblebee - 14/09/2009 21:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 122

You deserved it 3 731

jchansfan 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 12:16

At least he didn't spend that hour barking at your dog.

coolguyattack 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 12:12

Oh yes, FYL because you're boring.

Comments

TopCow 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 12:46

He was probably just nervous. Give him another go, if he still talks to your dog, swat him with a newspaper.

BangOut 2

Sunday 8 November 2009 13:23

wow. a dog is more interesting than you, sucks, doesn't it? :D :D

headphone84 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 13:49

is your dog female or male?

The_Pleb 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 15:46

SECOND!!! Win+2

delly_fml 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:18

The comments r waaay funnier then the FML!!! I luv u people with great senses of humor!!!

perdix 29

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:22

It could have been worse -- he could have spent over an hour talking to your pussy.

postaltubealex 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 22:53

#18. LOL.

Tamuz 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 17:21

well you never talk to your dog , SOMEONE HAS TO !

leppy228 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 17:25

This sounds like one of MTVs Disaster Date, where the guy invites a girl over but talks to the dog instead. I bet this is where u got it from.

lostfaithinpppl 19

Sunday 8 November 2009 18:24

Obviously, he is not that into you. LOL

kile88 2

Sunday 8 November 2009 18:33

obviously he was high

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The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 175

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 295

You deserved it 1 134

The Top

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 3 911

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 694

You deserved it 8 603

Today, I was working as a waitress at this pub. It was dead. After 4 hours I had only made 5$ in tips. A friendly couple came in and complimented EVERYTHING down to the freshness of the lemons in their tea. The bill came to $50. They left me a $5 gift card to starbucks. I don't drink coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 648

You deserved it 7 658

Today, I thought I was on mute during a virtual watch party, and it's only after the third or fourth flappy fart that someone pointed this fact out to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 898

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 385

You deserved it 4 311

Today, after I went in for surgery, I came out of extremely anemic from blood loss. As soon as I got home, I started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 116