Money: Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't... - FML

By INeedMoney - 28/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 709

You deserved it 5 031

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 221

By a fat fucking shit and proud of it - 28/06/2014 19:09 - United Kingdom - Camberley

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 392

You deserved it 3 783

By Broke Ass Hoe - 28/12/2017 15:00

Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 764

You deserved it 606

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 571

Crackers

By smurftastic - 03/09/2013 03:03 - United States - Murrieta

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 565

You deserved it 3 812

By sailorpete - 30/06/2019 02:25

Today, I got fired from the job I've only had for a week. Between paying for a physical, my own background check and uniforms, I paid more money to start working there than I'll get from my one and only paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 297

By bowhuntpa - 16/07/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 111

You deserved it 4 101

By PoorGal - 19/10/2015 18:04 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 047

You deserved it 5 803

Meritocracy, amirite?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 05:01

Today, I worked for 4 hours and made $28.00. I have $1500 of bills coming due soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 197

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 654

Next

Top comments

bettyc4 26

Saturday 28 January 2012 11:36

I'll send you some XD

pm_sky 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 11:38

fast food restaurants to restock

Comments

ilove80smetal 8

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:26

Start collecting leaves... OR hold it until you find a job. Or shower after you crap.

SAMbaby808 6

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:32

Pee in the shower.

RKD 23

Sunday 29 January 2012 1:03

A buddy of mine used to load up on napkins from fast food restaurants,,,,don't worry, op, when you run out you will get very creative as to how to find tp!

moomoomeow2 7

Sunday 29 January 2012 2:25

I hope things will be okay!

structuredchaoz 4

Sunday 29 January 2012 3:53

Wish you luck man. Keep at it. Things will get better.

roxybeachgirl7 3

Sunday 29 January 2012 4:23

I know this might sound a little ridiculous, but honestly, if you have zero dollars...not enough to get any toilet paper, then maybe go to a public restroom and take some?

honeyBabie 1

Sunday 29 January 2012 8:33

Maybe you should re evaluate ur priorities... You need toilet paper and not acess to the Internet.

stevets01 6

Sunday 29 January 2012 9:07

Not to be rude but you've been unemployed for a week and you have no money at all? You really need to learn how to save. Then again I don't know your life story so maybe you did need every penny.

cscott3131 0

Sunday 29 January 2012 9:47

Times are tough. If you have to shit then shower. You got to do what you got to do. Keep your head up though. You'll find work eventually.

beautyful_mess 0

Sunday 29 January 2012 11:35

Ooohh sucks to be you

4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

Today, I slept maybe fifteen hours. I'm supposed to be getting better but I'm not sure if I am and that scares the hell out of me. My room is a mess and I'm hungry. Maybe if i just get one sweet kiss, I'll be alright. I'm trying. I think? I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like there's something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 437

The Top

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer had got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 183

You deserved it 46 380

Today, I almost died after getting an epidural in my neck. The medicine paralyzed my entire body, including my diaphragm and lungs. The doctor tried to say it was a panic attack. I had turned blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 166

You deserved it 242

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 896

You deserved it 8 088

Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 418

You deserved it 3 058

Today, I went for a job interview. The woman interviewing me had such a thick accent that I had to keep asking her to repeat herself. She got so frustrated that she ended the interview super early. I don't think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 594

You deserved it 1 207

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 6 848